by Florentine
It’s that time of year again; odd German markets that only ever exist when it’s cold, winter wonderlands and the requisite bruises that accompany them (ice skating folks, ice skating) and – relevantly for this week’s Top Ten – more inadvisable hangovers than you can shake a litre bottle of Jack Daniels at. Why? Because it’s Christmas party season. … Continue Reading
by Florentine
Lesbians. You know who you are. But does everyone else?
I don’t think it would be unreasonable to suggest that our particular minority has been barely visible in the media for, well, ever. And while I do feel as though we’re now sitting on the very cusp of change in that respect (lesbian ‘it’ girls in Heat magazine? C’mon, we’ve made it!), there is still a tendency to jump all over anything containing some sort of representation of gay women and dry hump it like an over-excited puppy … Continue Reading
by Florentine
When it comes to film, we each have our vices; that specific combination of cinematic ingredients that has us running for the box office entrance. For one of my flatmates, this consists of a) an urban underdog at risk of being led astray by his/her more unsavoury peers, b) some half-arsed ability to sing or dance and c) use of said ability to overcome a life of crime and go to college/university instead. Evidently, straight forward revision is not enough for some folk. Others of course, … Continue Reading
by Florentine
If you’re as excited as me about Harriet Braun/the Beeb’s upcoming lesbian drama series, then I’m willing to bet my left arm you’ll be somewhat interested in finding out who’s been cast to play the lusty Glaswegian lady-lovers that you’re due to spend much of Spring 2010 unashamedly lusting after. … Continue Reading
by Florentine
If you take a handful of lesbians and plonk them in a room with some biscuits, sooner or later, the conversation will divert to sex. More specifically in this case, and my own experience, a full and complete sexual history. Perhaps this not-so-unique event should have a slang term all of its own – the ‘lesbian MOT’? You heard it here first. … Continue Reading
by Florentine
So there I was, enjoying a few quiet (sort of) post-work drinks in a venue that appeared, for all intents and purposes, almost wholly straight. We talked, we peeled condensation-saturated labels from bottles, we attempted to mould La Roux-esque quiffs in our hair. Then, after consuming one too many millilitres of liquid the inevitable happened; I had to go to the little girl’s room. … Continue Reading
by Florentine
The keenly observant among you will be well aware by now of longstanding rumours surrounding a new British lesbian series over at BBC headquarters. Up until now however, that’s exactly what it has been (rumour that is). We folk at TMC are pleased to announce that more moist-making small screen news has dripped its way into the press this week … Continue Reading
by Florentine
They’re at it again. The tabloid wordsmiths have donned their respective thinking caps once more, smugly inventing another jaunty hybrid word for the increasingly obese dictionary of modern slang. Whilst you may have been sending flirty texts to your eye-candy-du-jours since the bygone dawn of SMS, the lingo-juggernaut was briefly stuck in traffic, but coming up right behind you the whole time. … Continue Reading
by Florentine
Aside from Gail Platt performing an elicit sex scene in Coronation Street, or finding an anchovy in an otherwise perfect Caesar salad, there are few things in life that unsettle me like the omnipresent beast of social awkwardness. Challenge me to eat five cream crackers in one minute without the aid of water, or sit me down in front of an A level psychology paper with no prior tuition and chances are, I’ll achieve both with relative success and ease (maybe). … Continue Reading
by Florentine
Never one to miss a trick (or an opportunity to drink vodka and ogle sublime girls), the cakettes made their way down to the Korsan Bar on Kingsland Road last Saturday night to witness the birth of Shoreditch’s latest offering to the chic lesbian party circuit. And boy did we shake our tushes and let down our hair… … Continue Reading
by Florentine
This morning, like most mornings, I sat at my desk doing as all conscientious employees do before their first coffee of the day - perusing the internet for cheap, yet tasteful (and entirely legal) thrills. Simultaneously, I waged the usual battles against an influx of predictably depressing news concerning Pork Flu, Katie Price’s most recent interview blunder and Boris Johnson’s face. … Continue Reading
…and the reason you’ll never sign out for good
by Florentine
You know the score. Getting measured for your first bra by the alarmingly clammy-handed ladies at M&S, asking mum for permission to boldly put razor to barely hairy teenage leg, and sitting petrified on a toilet for the best part of an hour, desperately clawing enough courage to declare the red-painted beginnings of womanhood to your mum/dad/second cousin/mentally imbalanced home economics teacher (delete as appropriate). Rites of passage: traumatising girls across the land since 1864 – or thereabouts.
… Continue Reading
by Florentine
Ever stepped tentatively into your first gay club and spent half the night patting yourself on the back for becoming the brave new, pioneering self you always knew you could be, before drinking enough WKD to dye your bloodstream blue and seeking out the only straight man in the whole building for another emotion-void snog? Or perhaps you spent a solid eight months at the beck and call of your best friend, hoping that one day the fog would clear and she’d suddenly declare that her two year relationship with a rugby-playing, walking sack of testosterone was merely an elaborate cover to hide her undying, all-encompassing love for you. Naturally. If this sounds at all familiar, then there’s little doubt that you’ve sucked at being a lesbian at some point in your life. And if it doesn’t, then please accept a big, shiny gold star for display on a wall/blazer/mouse-mat of your choosing on us. … Continue Reading
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