True Blood is back and there are lesbians EVERYWHERE

I complain a lot about how there are no lesbians (or only crap lesbians – I’m looking at you, Frankie) on TV. I guess the Powers That Be Must have heard one of my complaints and decided to do something about it, because True Blood has lesbians falling out of its freaking ears. How many are there? Let me count them out for you (warning: there may be spoilers).

1. Pam

OH PAM. You are the best fucking thing about this show. You always have been.

And you get some of the best lines EVER. Like all of these ones:

And of course, this one:

HELLO.

2. Tara

Now, bear with me, because up until the first episode of the fourth season, I fucking hated Tara. Her whining, grating attitude to everything seriously pissed me off. But now, apparently, she’s a lesbian, WHICH MAKES HER A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER.

Also, just in general, Tara seems to have calmed the fuck down and stopped being so nagging this season, for which one should be nothing but grateful. And as an added bonus, her girlfriend is hot.

An aside: isn’t it sad that a show about vampires has more diversity in its representation of gay women than, say, Lip Service, Candy Bar Girls, or any of the other purported shows that are apparently “about us”?

3. Nan Flanagan

Um, so apparently all the vampires in True Blood are sexually fluid, but they all have preferences one way or another. Nan Flanagan, spokeswoman for the American Vampire League, counts as a lezzer here because, um, she kind of is.

Also, she makes the best power dyke EVER.

4. Fiona Shaw

Fiona Shaw isn’t a lesbian in the show (she’s actually really fucking scary, to be perfectly frank) but you know. She is in real life. This is enough for me.

5. Papi

So Janina Gavankar isn’t a lesbian in real life or in the show… but I think we all recognise her from somewhere, no?

If you were wondering where exactly it was that Papi disappeared to after Season 4, once she was done sleeping with Gabby Deveaux, she mosied over to Bon Temps and became a shifter.

Lesbians! Lesbians everywhere!

But beyond that, True Blood is such a great show, dramatic and enthralling without being stupid and over-the-top. Plus, as before, there are lesbians everywhere.