by Devil’s Food Cake

Ever been utterly dateless? Stranded in a desert of singleness without a girl in sight? Convinced that you’ll never kiss – let alone shag – another human being again? The American right-wing Bible-thumpers have an ingenious solution for you: join the military. Confused? So am I.

According to this article in the Guardian, the good ol’ US of A is up in arms about plans to repeal the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy that’s been used to keep military homos in line for decades. More specifically, some crazy lady who heads some crazy right-wing organization has been blathering left, right and centre about the supposed dangers of repealing the penalties for serving in the military and being openly gay. The dangers, of course, are that the minute the floodgates are opened, us queers will start jumping on every. heterosexual. thing. walking. Troop morale will be eroded, violence amongst comrades will become the norm and the “macho men” of the military will be utterly undermined by the presence of unashamed, flaming queers.

Photo via Gryphmon

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know why these nutbags aren’t more creative. What’s the point of making all these fantastically outrageous accusations about gay people if you’re not going to put some real effort into it? Gays serving openly in the military? Fire! Brimstone! Nobody will respect us and the sky will fall down and Chicken Little won’t even have time to warn anyone, so quick will be our downfall! Sudden meteor storms will strike the earth, the couch will become a gate to another world and somebody will finally slap Taylor Swift. 

As a disclaimer, I obviously don’t believe any of the above. But I find it more than a little insulting, as well as a sign of frightful stupidity, that there are people who believe this garbage. And I have to ask – why? What harm will it do anyone if the constitutional, civil rights of gay people? What are these people so afraid of? The problem with intolerance is that it is so often rooted in some irrational fear, or some kind of rampant stupidity. To say that Andrea Lafferty’s proclamations are ridiculous would be an understatement. But there’s no telling some people – and I’ve learned the hard way that you can shout and scream and cry and argue and explain til your face turns blue to no avail. I guess the best thing to do is to try anyway. Change as many hearts and minds as you can as best you can – then keep your fingers crossed and hope evolution sorts out the rest.

by Lemon Tart

After months of dental dam research, trips to B&Q and artsy debates we held our art party on Saturday. And what a shindig it was.

Some of the best moments:

1. Playing with boxing gloves attached to the end of long sticks. Surreal.

2. The girls. We didn’t hire any of them in (honest).

3. All the amazing artists: thank you Kat Green, Laura Pannack, Louise Pomeroy, Rachel Bevis, Susie Hogarth and Mark Karl Hughes.

4. All the stupendous DJs. Especially the gorgeous Chloe Ramone, who is actually a DJ high Wizard. Probably.

5. The dental dams. What can we say ladies? Not only do we provide you with a chirpy little site, we also throw sex education into the mix.

6. The tiger faces. Cheers Daria!

7. The moment the piñatas burst: (excellent work Jo)

8. The cakes. Sorry if you didn’t get one. Probably because I smuggled them all into my bag and feasted on them the next day.

9. The moment Dusty Springfield’s ghost walked through the room. She managed to find a cake apparently. She said the hairdos were odd but the party was great. We had a chat about the weather. She agreed it’s high time summer started.

10. Not the end. But I guess there’s always the next one – probably towards the end of the year.

photographs by Holly Falconer

by Devil’s Food Cake

Uniforms. Jocks. Screaming and shouting. Team spirit, fields, running and jumping and scoring – oh my! There’s a lot to be said for a good round of sport – whether you’re participating or watching. There’s also a lot to be said about the movies that depict these sports – there’s nothing like the sight of a lady in uniform ready to tackle you to the ground to encourage you to pick up a racket or a hockey stick.

Now, I get told that I’m too wordy quite a lot of the time. So for today’s Tuesday Top Ten, I will attempt to explain my reasoning for each inclusion on this list in five words or less. In no particular order….

1. Stick It

It’s not called gym-nice-tics.

2. Bring It On

Eliza Dushku. Spirit Fingers.

3. A League of Their Own

Madonna. Lori Petty. Play ball.

4. Girlfight

She gets a boyfriend? Whatever.

5. Bend It Like Beckham

She’s not Lebanese! She’s Indian!

6. Love and Basketball

I’d rather wear a jersey than an apron.

7. Chak De! India

Leastwise we win in movies.

8. Blue Crush

My, that’s a fine… board.

9. Million Dollar Baby

Girly, tough ain’t enough.

10. The Iron Ladies

Just really. Freaking. Awesome.

I know number 6 is cheating, but it’s such a great line (from the movie. Obv.)

What’s your favourite sports movie?

by Lemon Tart

There ain’t no document of a night like a Christa Holka document of a night… biblical proportions. Every one’s a winner… enjoy…

photographs by Christa Holka

for more information on Twat Boutique go here

by Florentine

Here’s a question.  What do you get if you cross a curious young girl, a concert piano and an ever-so-slightly psychopathic flatmate?  One big fat lesbian mess, that’s what.  Highly Strung is the debut feature of extremely promising French writer-director Sophie Laloy, which tells the story of 20 year old Marie (Judith Davis – RÉFRACTAIRE) and her move to Lyon to enrol at the prestigious Conservatoire (that’s ‘shit hot music academy’ to you and me).  Moving away from her family is a big step for the inexperienced and excitable young Marie, but it’s her decision to flat share with mysterious childhood friend Emma (a thrillingly odd Isild Le Besco – GIRLS CAN’T SWIM, ROBERTO SUCCO, CAMPING SAUVAGE) that will really cause the proverbial excrement to hit the fan.

Zoning in on the “heady passions of unrequited adolescent love”, Laloy says she was inspired by her own rather complicated experience with a flatmate during her studies at the very same college.  After watching the film, I certainly wouldn’t be admitting to being that source of inspiration anytime soon.  For what follows Marie’s bright-eyed and bushy-tailed move to a new world of personal freedom and sexual exploration, is a sometimes confusing-sometimes dangerous game of lust-fuelled cat and mouse, gloriously, all to a score of classical symphonies from Mozart, Ravel, Bach and Chopin.

It’s a scenario that will resonate all too familiarly with plenty of lesbians out there; you’re young, you’re confused… you inconveniently develop a crush on your straight best friend who, even more inconveniently, fluctuates between being curious, confused, up for it, scared, tempted, disgusted and all the way back again.  Marie doesn’t know what she wants, and as a result sends out the kind of mixed signals that bring out Emma’s worst qualities; what starts as an intense emotional attachment quickly contorts to jealousy, obsession and a dominance that can only be described as dangerous.  This is a relationship that ‘aint ever gonna end pretty.

I’ve always been a huge fan of French cinema.  If there’s one nation of filmmakers you can rely on to tackle the complicated and intense emotional recesses of the human condition without fear or sugar-coating, it’s our friends across the channel.  They’re also horribly good at injecting the kind of sensuality and sumptuousness us conservative Brits would struggle to create even out of a velvet throw and 64,000 red church candles.  You want to make a bus ride look sexy?  Lob your camera to a French director for ten minutes.  Job done.  Highly Strung is a rich, sumptuous feast from start to finish, taking us on an unapologetically disquieting stroll through a messy journey from adolescence to adulthood.  Neither of our lead characters is very noble; from Emma’s possessive and frankly terrifying attachment to her unobtainable crush, to Marie’s very conscious attempts both to tease and emotionally wound her besotted admirer (she even moves her, largely naked, new boyfriend in for good measure – way to push the knife in Mazza).  It’s bleak and it’s disturbing and it’s beautifully shot and scored.  And if you can bear to see another lesbian dalliance dragged through the gutter of tragic endings, you could do a lot worse than making Sophie Laloy’s accomplished debut the one you choose.

Highly Strung won the prestigious Zenith prize at the Montreal Film Festival last winter and can be caught at various festivals over the rest of this month.  Check out the individual websites below for information about securing tickets.  If you can’t make it along, the DVD will be available to buy from March 29^th 2010 here in the UK.

10th March: Birds Eye View Film Festival, Lexi Cinema London
19th March: Bradford Film Festival
26th – 31st March: Shortwave Cinema London  

by Devil’s Food Cake

Sesame Street taught me a lot of things – how to share, how to hate Elmo, how to count to ten in Spanish (thank you Celia Cruz). And I’m, you know, all grown-up and shizz now, but Sesame Street still holds a rather precious place in my heart. 

Also, I’m secretly in love with Oscar the Grouch and keep a lookout for him.

Plus, Feist is freaking awesome.

I understand that this may by highly irrelevant to most people. Sesame Street is, after all, a children’s program. But there’s something really lovely about this video, and really sweet, and really innocent. Surely there’s no better way to start the week?

by Lemon Tart

Rachel Bevis is a bit multi-talented – not only is she DJing at our night tomorrow (aka Gay for Disco), she’s also displaying her fantastic photography at the party.

Introducing Rachel… in her own words…

History:

It was 1994 that I first ventured into photography, making my own black and white prints at school, the smell of the chemicals was addictive! But it wasn’t until I moved back to London from university 10 years later, on the dole and going to gigs every night taking pictures of bands that I really got into taking pictures regularly. I went on to be picture editor at Artrocker for 4 years, and then started taking photos for Vice. Now I’m working on various freelance documentary projects.
Before I started taking band photos I would never take portraits or include people in my work. Now it’s almost exactly the opposite. I suppose that’s the evolution of an artist.

Inspiration:

I take my inspiration from finding the beauty in the ordinary. I’ve dedicated my work to showing things for that they really are, which if you look hard enough, is essentially beautiful. I am inspired by the moment; I never plan photographs, I could never work in a studio taking 500 shots of the same thing until I got the ’perfect’ shot. The image has to be spontaneous or all the magic disappears. I don’t crop pictures, the composition is made through the lens in the moment.

'Special Brew', Rachel Bevis

Art to me:

It’s as if I am watching life as it happens like a movie. Day to day, reels and reels of moving snap shots and taking pictures is like hitting the pause button. It can be as simple as a pair of shoes. My mood, my surroundings – my work reflects my state of mind.

I’m by no means critical of work with hidden meanings and subtlety, but my work is very much ‘what you see is what you get’. I adopt the same attitude to life and to my friends. I couldn’t exist any other way.

Artist I’d like to meet:

My choice changes depending what I’m working on. But right now, without a doubt, it would be Nan Goldin. Her understanding of colour, composition – I respect and admire everything about her.

Which cake:

Anything that makes you go ‘”oooh, I really shouldn’t”, but you do anyway, on the sly!

'Marie', Rachel Bevis

You can view Rachel’s website here, and see her art tomorrow at the Most Cake party.

by Lemon Tart

Kat Green is a brilliant photographer who mainly shoots bands and singers, in an up-close-and-personal-kinda-way. She’s always massively playful with locations, and makes colours BANG to ensure her work fizzes with tension. You can see her work tomorrow at our party, but in the mean time, we’ll let Kat tell you a little bit about herself…

Tell us about you…
I started getting  into photography 12 years ago when i was studying it at GCSE which I followed with an A Level and then a BA. I experimented in many different styles but realised after graduating that people and portraits were what I enjoyed photographing the most. I mainly shoot on 120 film using a trusty Bronica that I have had for years.

One photographer that had a big impact on my photography was Elaine Constantine. I saw her photos of girls riding bikes in the first few weeks after starting my BA and I went straight to my tutor and asked how i could shoot like that. More recently Cat Stevens and Elizabeth Weinberg are both photographers whose work I really admire.

'Nic Nell', Kat Green

What is art to you?
Anything that inspires me and makes me see things in a different way.

If could meet any artist dead or alive who would it be?
Andy Warhol- he was a bit of a wacko. I’d like to have taken his picture.

If you were a cake what would you be and why?
I’d be a Lily Vanilli rainbow cake. They’re awesome.

by Sticky Toffee Pudding

There are a variety of things in this world that I love. My mother for example, or that selection pack of Green and Blacks chocolate (have you tried the butterscotch – it is delish!)  However, very few can compare when it comes to the genius that is Flight of the Concords, these guys have my complete and utter devotion. Put simply – they rule!

With their witty and often acute observations and subtle commentary on a variety of issues, FOTC have broken some pretty new ground in comedy. Their humour is a unique blend of bizarreness, the ridiculous and intelligence, all brewed to perfection. Throw in some slamming tunes and you’ve got yourself a whole heap of awesomeness.

The ladies love the feel of the wheel don't they fellas...

The thing that makes them so great is that despite the stupidity of their lyrics they are in fact amazingly talented, comfortable with a variety of instruments and cross a range of musical styles. In their show you see them parody just about every defining musical artist from David Bowie right down to R Kelly, capturing the signature sounds of each genre along the way.

FOTC are by no means new and I thought I’d pretty much devoured every clip of them on Youtube many moons ago. (You know how it is; you discover something, get really excited and proceed to exhaust it to the point of sensory overload.) So imagine my surprise when, whilst having a little FOTC renaissance, (one needs to keep one’s love burning strong) I stumbled across this gem the other day.  To end your working week with some quality LOL time and quite simply because we at TMC also love to do a little something special for the ladies out there I thought it my civic duty to share it with you all. Please Observe.

by Sticky Toffee Pudding

Continuing with the countdown to Saturday’s shenanigans we’d like to introduce you to the delightful Daria Petrillo, who shall be painting all your happy drunken faces on the night.

Italian born freelancer Daria moved to London two years ago and has been making waves and generally splashing about on the British art scene ever since. With her MA from Italy and a Diploma in Experimental Illustration from the LCC Daria has been exhibiting her work on a regular basis and cultivating connections with places such as The Well Gallery. Unafraid to be different her style has often been referred to as ‘distinctive, quirky and original’ and one look at her website will tell you why.  I personally love artwork like this and I’m most excited to lend a few inches of skin to Daria’s brush as she’s certainly more than qualified.

For the less adventurous amongst yourselves who are not so keen on having  ‘Fish Dance’ painted onto their arms I shall advise you that she will have a standard book of facepainting designs for you to pick from.

Pagliaccio by Daria Petrillo

…

How did you start out?

I have been drawing since I was a child but I started to think of myself as a kind of “artist” when I came to London. My thoughts and skills have changed so much and improved too. I’ve started exhibiting and doing commissions and now I’m here. I’m not sure where ‘here’ is but I hope I will find out on the way.

Where do you draw your inspiration from?

Everything can be inspiring: a man on the tube scratching his skin or even a stain on the door.
It’s just a matter of how that particular event or input reaches your mind and how you interpret it.

Notable achievements?

I’ve had three exhibitions so far and some commissions and I’m now working on an art cover for an American musician. It’s nice to think that my creations are out there somewhere.

If you could meet any artist dead or alive who would it be?

I would actually like to meet Hieronymus Bosch. If I could I would open his head and look into his crazy mind to see what was there.

And finally if you were a cake what would you be and why?

It would have to be an Italian one… A Tiramisu, because it’s so good and I am a master at making it! Also everything you want from a cake is in it’s name Tirami su’ – cheer me up!!

…

Facepainting will take place from 8pm until midnight.

All pictures © Daria Petrillo

by Devil’s Food Cake

There’s something very quietly powerful about Louise Pomeroy’s work. The first time I saw something she’d done, I was gripped – it’s the kind of stuff that makes you sit up and take notice and really think. But while a lot of effective work seems to scream things at you, looking at one of Louise’s pieces is like having a small child take you by the hand and guide you into a silent space where you’d rather just stare for a while. Her pieces are at once pretty and just a little weird.

Make no mistake though – the work is fucking remarkable.

© Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy

Some background: Louise graduated from Kingston University in 2008, with a BA (Hons.) in Illustration. Since then, she has been working and living in London as a freelance Illustrator. In 2008 she won a D&AD Best New Blood award for her book of illustrated short stories ‘I Married a Toyboy Convict’.

She takes inspiration from True Crime and True Life magazines, 19th century anatomical diagrams and everyday life (..and death).

In your own words…

All I drew when I was a child was side-profile human heads with mohawks and cat’s in clothes – from then on I’ve always had people ask me to draw them a picture. Not a lot has changed. Drawing comes more naturally to me than writing (I learnt to read from the Beano…) so being an illustrator is something that comes very naturally to me.

What is art to you?

I don’t think I can answer this without sounding like a twat.

If you could meet any artist alive or dead, who’d you want to meet?

It would be Phoebe Gloekner, she’s been a massive inspiration to me even though our styles are very different. Her subject matter is always incredibly provocative and I think we’d get on well.

If you were a cake what’d you reckon you’d be?

A burnt Victoria Sponge.

© Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy

Not to mention she also did the illustration for the TMC zine at the first party….

There you have it ladies. Listen first, ask questions later.

You can see more of Louise’s work on her blog or on her website.

All pictures © Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy.

by Lemon Tart

I met Laura Pannack, 24, just over a year ago through a mutual friend when I still worked as a picture editor. She said, “I know this photographer, you should meet her – her work’s really beautiful.” And I thought, yeah yeah everyone knows a photographer who they think is great… (Seriously, I’d seen it all: portfolios filled with portraits of Eastenders cast members, 75% of portfolios looking like cheap copies of Terry Richardson or Tim Walker, people who hadn’t actually shot anything new for years and years, people who would only do a shoot if we provided a full vegan platter of nosh on the day… you get the picture).

But then I met Laura, and her work is ASTOUNDING. Well I’d kind of already guessed it would be because national papers and magazines were already commissioning her lots, and she was only 23 then. Her pieces capture the very subtle nuances of the human soul: our most internalised things that sometimes emerge on the surface – all then expressed through slight shifts of the eye, poses of the hands, or slants of the back.

Her best-known post-university project is called Young Love, a result of months spent getting to know teenagers who were experiencing their first taste of a relationship: two girls lying hand in hand on a windy heath, a boy staring out from behind his girlfriend’s embrace, and countless private embraces, hugs and kisses. All are undercut by Laura’s signature style: simple composition, natural light, and a strong emphasis on the quirks of someone’s character.

Shay and Sophie, from the Young Love project

Another of my personal favourites is her recent work on young British naturists, for which she became completely submerged in their world for around a year, even stripping off herself to make sure they felt at ease with her. The photos are brilliant: excellent calm studies of each person’s quirks and acceptance of their nakedness. The project is just beginning to be covered in the media now, have a look at the BJP’s recent coverage of it: http://www.bjp-online.com/public/showPage.html?page=873599

Laura is constantly churning out new work, commissioned and personal. I think the best way to follow her work is to look at her prolific blog. Here are some of my recent favourites:

And one of my favourite recently commissioned pieces: Gabourey Sidibe (star of Precious) for Dazed and Confused:

Oh and Laura’s favourite cake is Carrot Cake in case you were wondering.

Laura was recently announced the winner of the Portrait Singles section of the World Press Photo awards. She is represented by the Lisa Pritchard Agency. You can view more of her work here.

All photographs copyright of Laura Pannack.

by Sticky Toffee Pudding

Next up in TMC house of fun is the superbly talented, award winning Mark Karl Hughes. Mark studied at the prestigious Central St Martins College of Art and Design, famous for such notable alumni as the late Alexander McQueen and M.I.A. Not content with just art and illustration, Mark has also carved a career for himself in fashion design and launched his very own hat collection last year. He is the 1999 winner of the Nia de Yorke Prize for Fashion Illustration and has clocked up a substantial number of air miles teaching the various aspects of fashion in such places as Italy and China. His most current body of work, Gay Illustrations, can be found on Facebook.

…

Girls girls girls and not a sign of Elvis taken from Gay Illustrations

…

Who are your inspirations?

Picasso, Matisse, Jean Cocteau and James Bidgood.

What motivates you?

I love film and I am mad about faces. I love the photography of Richard Avedon and it has greatly influenced my work. In 2004 I went to Shanghai for two years to teach Fashion Design. I don’t know how that happened, one minute I was here the next it was a chloroform hanky and suddenly I’m on a plane full of live chickens – just kidding! I’m not sure what motivated me to go but I went and it was an experience. Apparently I am a “free spirit”, or so I’ve been told. I wouldn’t really say I was though as to me that conjures up the image of a woman in a floaty cheesecloth dress.

Johnny Hazard taken from Gay Illustrations

…

What is art to you?

Art requires care and effort. To me a lightbulb isn’t art, and nor is a brick, regardless of whoever tells me it is. I really love portraiture and photography.I find the work of Richard Avedon and Henri Cartier-Besson really captivating.

If you could be any artist in time who would you be?

I would be Hans Holbein, so I could work at the court of Henry VIII

And finally, if you were a cake what would you be and why?

I would be a chocolate cake with a gooey chocolate centre, I don’t know why, but I’d definitely be a chocolate cake. Probably because what you see is what you get and the centre is just the same but with that extra touch of vulnerability.

All pictures © Mark Karl Hughes.

by Lemon Tart

So, time for artist number two… Jo Scotcher is a super talented London-based set and costume designer, who’s creating the installation pieces for our party on Saturday.

Read on, dear readers, read on…

How you got started?

I had a flashdance moment at an early age and learnt to weld – the little sculptures I was making at art school started to become these big steel structures and expand until I realised I could make spaces large enough to fit people inside of them… these were my first sets I think. I started to go see every last play/opera/dance I could- An utter revelation to me. I knew creating performance is what I had to do.

How long have you been in the biz?

I spent a year as the assistant designer at The Royal Shakespeare Company, a bizarre but pretty inspiring time – since then I have been designing and making my own sets for nearly three years now. As well as studios and theatres, I make work in basements, caravans, railway sheds, clubs, debating chambers… anywhere that inspires a story.

Inches Apart. Old Vic New Voices @ Theatre 503

Inspirations?

Half built lift shafts, narratives, Ralph Koltai, abandoned opulence, Richard Serra, my friends, accidental spaces, Sandy Skoglund, metal next to concrete, Jenny Murray, untold histories, picture books…

Notable achievements?

Surviving this far? This summer I’m opening a show in Waterloo International Railway Station – we are converting the abandoned Eurostar terminal into a theatre space and driving a 40 tonne train through the middle of the audience – this excites me.

What is art to you?

Doing it slightly differently.

If could meet any artist dead or alive who would it be?

The Marina Abramović “the grandmother of performance art” (This is an awesome clip…)

If you were a cake what would you be and why?

A plum crumble of course.

…

You can see more of Jo’s work here and her pieces at our party on Saturday….

by Sticky Toffee Pudding

As the geekily installed timer to your right will tell you, here at TMC we are counting down the seconds to our next offering of heaped up, cake smeared, riotous good times. Yes that is (drum roll please)… The Most Cake// Art Party.  As the lovely Florentine has informed you all, this time a night of drunken revelry against a backdrop of feel good tunes is just not enough, this time we invite you to be dazzled, to be engaged, and to be captivated by sparkly things as we showcase a variety of London’s up and coming artist talent.  I’m literally bouncing off the walls in excitement (I may have bruised my elbows).

To whet your appetites we thought we’d give you a little sneak peak of the fabulous artists that will be featured in our exhibit. We’ve sent out the TMC busy bee to coax little interviews from their metaphorical bosoms and first up is the ever so sweet Susie Hogarth.  We hope you enjoy the appetisers, and save some space for the main show.

Susie is a freelance writer and illustrator, and author of 2007 book Hogarth’s Very Large Handbook of Celebrity. She contributes to independent and commercial magazines and once took a commission for an erotic publisher. She says of the experience – ‘I drew a lot of breasts and penises and tried to find a way to make them fresh; that was fun.’ She’s currently working on a book of illustrated stories.

…

How’d you start out?

When I was a child there wasn’t a lot of spare cash around for proper dolls to project my fantasies onto, so I drew my own. A4 office paper and biros from my mum’s office provided a gateway to the elusive grown-up worlds I had spied in Littlewoods catalogues and late 1980s MaxMara adverts. I soon discovered that a long scribble of HB hair and an eraser provided just as good a hair styling experience as a Girl’s World; this hair, after all, could grow back.  Most evenings were spent belly down in front of the tv drawing girl after girl in outfit after outfit – predominantly in a combination of deep green and purple – with wistful looks, often carrying assorted foodstuffs or clutching academic looking books, and waiting for boyfriends who never seemed to materialise. I thought this meant I might become a fashion designer and a lesbian. I was wrong on both counts.

And how about now?

I often find myself in the same position now, belly on the carpet, drawing girls and calling it an actual job. I took a while to work out I was allowed to take it seriously, and I spent most of my English Literature degree and my abortive career in being various people’s assistants, doodling girls and ghosts and wishing I was somewhere else. So now I am. I’m less interested in the outfits, and more in the awkward frowns and discordant moods of the girls and women wearing them. I like pairing the magical and the everyday, the pleasant and the sad, and waiting for them all to find out how much they have in common.

The Fall by Susie Hogarth

What is art to you?

I think art is the stuff you think is hiding around corners, and lurking in attics and secreted under the floorboards, before you tear it all up and realise there’s nothing there. I suppose that’s just plain old childhood wonder, but childhood wonder has a perpetual hold on us for a reason. I suppose in a more theoretical way I mean I find art in the in-between, the ambiguous and the nonsensical. I have no time for literalism. Art, for me, is the fuzzy space between what language or science or images are straining to try to describe and what it actually, somewhere, might be.

…
If you could meet any artist dead or alive who would it be?

He’s not a visual artist but I would love to have met Frank O’Hara. I bet he was fun.

…
If you were a cake what would you be and why?

I think I’d probably be one of those little madeleines or sponge fingers you get in clammy packets from corner shops – because they are maybe a bit cheap and humble and poorly-formed but they are ultimately well-intentioned.

All pictures © Susie Hogarth.

by Devil’s Food Cake, Lemon Tart and Black Forest Cake

Last night was a night of excess. There were margaritas and chocolate cake and various kinds of curry. And tigers. And amongst the melee of thrown-together songs that constituted our playlist were a number of classics. Specifically, this one.

Added into this Madonna reminiscing session was this classic über camp moment from The MTV Awards in 1990. And when we say über…

Say what you want about Madonna, but the woman is amazing. She’s broken ceilings and trod new ground and generally made the musical world a better place (bar ‘Give It 2 Me’ which makes us want to scream and also raises concerns for the state of our world’s grammar). AND she’s gotten it on with Jenny Shimizu. In short, we wouldn’t mind being her. In lieu of that, we’ll have to settle for her videos.

by Fairy Cake

It’s a regular comedy jamboree this week on The Most Cake.  First lezzie stand-up  Zoe Lyons and now genius monkey-botherer Miss Nina Conti.

Comedy fans amongst you may already be familiar with ventriloquist Nina, who sidled onto the comedy scene back in the early 00’s, snapping up The BBC New Comedy award for Best Act in 2002.  After a slew of international tours, and appearances in everything from Black Books to For Your Consideration, Nina’s currently putting the finishing touches to her summer laugh-riot, ‘Talk to the Hand’, which will see her sticking an arm up the bottom of various furry comedic characters, including the legendary misanthropic primate Monk.

Luckily for me (and you, cake-lovers), I got the chance to meet filth-monger Nina after a blinding set at Bush Hall last Thursday.  And despite being a little exhausted, she was still compass-damagingly magnetic.  Here’s what she had to say for herself.

How do you write?  Do you have a process?

Yes…it’s a mucky one but I do have a process.  It’s a little bit of talking to the puppets, and seeing what they say.  Then a little bit of trying to remember what was said, and writing it down…It’s very important to talk to the puppets, as it awakes my imagination when I see their faces, sat there, thinking of what to reply.  Stewing at a laptop won’t produce that sort of thing.   It’s a little bit silly, and…

A bit schizophrenic?

…and a bit schizophrenic.  But I’ve become so used to it that sitting talking to myself in an empty room doesn’t seem insensible anymore.  It’s a valid part of my work!  I am not a crazy person – it’s my career – and for me it’s the best way of working.

I think it would be seriously weird if somebody watched me doing it though.

It’s quite a private thing I imagine?

Actually – having said that, I’ve just been working with Bill Dare (legendary comedy producer and all-round hilarity factory).  So, I’ve been going to his house with the puppets, and he sort of asks questions and narrates stuff…so it does happen that way too.

It’s nice to just chuck stuff up with other people, then go by myself and think “Do I really like that?  Do I want to do it that way?”.  Audiences are a good gauge too.

Do you test your shows on people before they‘re finalised?

No no – I don’t put anyone through that!  But during little shows like this you can squeeze in something new.

Do you get nervous?

Yes yes.  But I don’t get sicky or shakey.  My nerves come in a different way.  If I’ve got a gig, around about 5pm in the evening I’ll get really tired and start thinking, “Maybe I’m coming down with something…perhaps I’m working too hard.  Maybe this is a sign.”  Like it’s a new thought, every night.   Absurd.  It’s a brand of insanity.  Then of course I get to the gig, I do the gig, it goes okay, and I’m fine.

Most enjoyable heckle you’ve ever had?

I don’t know about enjoyable!   I get a lot of monkey-related jokes.  And I got “Get your tits out” in Belfast once.  I had no come back for that.

Do you think you’ll ever do stand up without something on your hand?

No.  I don’t think so.  I could do stand-up as a character, to cover the Id, y’know?  But not as Nina.  Boring!  Who would want it?  And now that we’ve seen her with all these other characters, I feel that would be a step back.  I would have to change who I was to make stand-up worthwhile, because I’ve got a straight man personality.  In life I’ve often queried why I turned out so inoffensive and gauche…

Monk’s pretty offensive!  Surely he is  part of you?

Yes, I guess he is.  I’m unshockably filthy…as those who know me well know.   I think everyone is.  Some people who are wonderfully liberated don’t have to put on a public face, but I’m not – so the filth gets squeezed down my neck, along my arm and comes out through the monkey.

Now to the “women in comedy” question…

I’ve been asked that a lot.

Oh no, I don’t want to be cliche…

No, no…don’t worry about that – I just haven’t really prepared an answer.  Thinking about myself as “a woman in comedy” isn’t a source of creativity.  There’s no funny stuff there, without doing something overly triumphant, or playing on the underdog theme, neither of which interest me.  I just do my thing and try not to dwell on my gender.  I think there’s something about my act which plays on the virgin/whore thing, which is certainly a more female dynamic, but I think I have been received pretty fairly.

Any tips for young comediennes?

Having said that “it doesn’t make a difference if you’re a woman on the comedy circuit”, there are fewer of us, so if we’re good we do well quickly.  So yeah…stay female.

Finally – what’s your favourite type of cake?

Cheesecake.  That slightly cheap cheesecake covered in jam that you get in supermarkets.  I love it.

Nina’s currently previewing her summer show ‘Talk to the Hand‘ at Leicester Square Theatre.  You can check her out on YouTube or keep an eye on her website for upcoming events.

by Lemon Tart

A undeniably good night at Dalston’s blue-painted womb, Visions. All to the tune of eighties ditties, Flashdance on repeat on the joint’s old TVs, and cider being slurped down in extra-healthy quantities.

That’s enough bad writing for one night (alcohol and 2 am = a bad time to post).

Enjoy… bravo, an excellent first night Flashdance…

photos by Holly Falconer

Oh Jennifer…

by Petit Fours

I was just reading an article on Platform magazine about Grindr, the iPhone app for gay men which helps them find other gay men nearby to have boy sex with. One thing caught my eye though – a little comment asking why there was no lesbian version. And why indeed? Do you want one? Tell us in the poll below, but first let me explain how this cruisey little app works.

So it’s pretty straightforward: upload a photo, a name, maybe some information about whether you like slathering yourself in ice-cream and wearing thongs, then the phone uses the GPS to locate where you are then gives you the profiles of guys online, up for it and nearby. Location-based dating is the name for this. Look this is what Trent has written below:

Hi Trent, maybe we would "hit you up" later, if you were a girl. Nice smile tho darlin.

Oh Trent. I’d go gay for you if I were man.

It’s pretty much the same thing as when everyone used to ask “ASL?”(age/sex/locations) in gay chatrooms before they would consider talking to you back in the 90s.*

This whole iPhone thing is just a lot more efficient: it cuts out all the people in Ohio without you having to go through everyone one by one and lets you know exactly how close you are to your object of interest. Right now, I’m 679m away from Dean and 535m away from Bluntwilly**. Some people give their tube stop rather than their precise location, but basically you get a pretty clear idea of how close they are without knowing exactly where they are. And, leaving aside major travel disruptions, you can guess how practical a quick shag is going to be.

I’ve just downloaded Grindr and it’s really fun, it makes you remember how many gays there are and it’s like you’re part of a big slightly horny community. Okay, I had to tell iTunes I’m a man, but what do they know about my gender identity anyway. Skim through the profiles nearby and you have the option to Instant Message anybody else who is online, then presumably you can arrange to, like, do whatever you want.

It’s becoming quite a mainstream idea – here’s an app like this for straighties too: Lovestruck London – with the extra feature that it sends you a text whenever someone who meets your “specifications” pops up within a 100m radius. It’s based around your work address not your home one and as you might imagine, it’s all a bit more about lunchdates than er, blow-jobs on that particular site. Straights are so inhibited.

Anyway, what made me write this article was the comment on this Platform article about Grindr, Anonymous asked “Wai no Lesbo-Grindr?”*** and WAI**** indeed? My friend and I were discussing this the other day. I could think of four reasons:

1. No-one has made one yet. Just seems horny gay men are more likely to be app developers than lezzas are.

2. People think women aren’t as into random sex as men so they think there’d be less demand for it (have these people ever been to Wish?)

3. What the hell would you say? My friend was like “Look, you’d go to a club if you wanted to pull wouldn’t you? If you saw there were 4 lesbians in SE5, what would you do about it? They’re probably just in supermarket or something” Fair point. What would my chat be…? “Hi see you live in the south-east? you know that Co-Op on the Camberwell New Road? Love it, the reduced counter surprises me everytime.” (does that work for anyone..?)

4. You know everyone anyway. My friend’s other point was around the fact that you bloody know everyone anyway. “You’d be like oh my god, there must be another lesbian in the cafe, then you’d realise it’s your friend, who you’re having coffee with.”  i.e. you’d just end up chatting to your friends and You Do That Anyway.

Thoughts? Would you use it?

———–

*Well, I didn’t, but I got asked it everytime I went on. By gay men, yes. Sometimes I’d pretend to be a gay man, but that’s another story.

**I’m not actually interested in BluntWilly.

***That means “why is there no lesbian version of this ‘Grindr’ application”. It’s in lolspeak.

****God, I love lolspeak.

—–

Related: Gaydar: friend or foe?