For your smelling pleasure
Ah, do you remember the good old days when rather than pluck up the courage to talk to the sexy, sweaty lady you’ve been making eyes at at the gym, you instead creep up to her exercise bike after she’s departed and surreptitiously sniff the section where her, er… ‘front derrière’ has been. No you say? Neither do I.
However if you are a creepy pervert you’ll be pleased to know our friends in Deutschland have taking the panty-sniffing business to the next level. Rather than sneaking into the laundry room and swiping all the French knickers out the dryer you can do away with that feeling of shame as you bury your nose in some hot mama’s underwear. Indeed you no longer need the underwear as some crazy perv revolutionary swot has managed to capture the unique essence of our lady bits for your smelling pleasure. Yep, that’s the smell of your vag, in a bottle.*
Be advised, this is not a perfume, oh no, it’s sole purpose is to please those who enjoy breathing in the secret scent of a lady. That’s right, inhale and groan, you sick bastards.
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*This is a genuine product I kid you not! Of course it’s clearly aimed at men; after all, we ladies can sniff our own pants. The phrase ‘eugh!’ pretty much springs to mind along with a wary glance over the shoulder. Check out the website here, if you’re not quite traumatised yet. Don’t worry, you will be.
Whilst you’re in creepy stalker, bordering on psychotic mode how about a playlist of equally disturbed measure to enhance your ecstasy as you sniff away? Check out Fairy Cake‘s Tuesday Top Ten Songs To Stalk People To.
The question is; who’s vagina is it? Is this the particularly delectable scent of one woman’s va-jay-jay, or a collection of various womens’ Eau Du Crotch? How does one get this kind of thing into a bottle?
I need answers!!
Ask the girl on the bicycle, she is herself a blunder of smelling wonder. He advertising campaign was ‘smelt’ from Mumbai to Paris thanks to the great marketing. Where does one find such pro duct? where?
@ Fairy Cake… It comes in a variety of different flavours, sorry I meant aromas. Mostly its just one ladies ‘front derrière’, but sometimes they’ve picked a few that compliment each other, like Jasmine and Lavender, Petal and Peaches, Maxine and Milk, you know…. as for how they get it into the bottle, well it’s their trademark secret, they don’t want any imitations now do they? You are of course welcome to try though! :p
@ Chatter in a Bottle… You can purchase these delightful treats online at their website… http://vulva-original.com/gb/#/order/
Apparently they closed down an entire road that goes across Australia.They are looking for a vehicle full of fake ‘bottles’. Blasting techno music from a colourful van is so far the only detail to find them. Good luck to the police for that!
My lord that’s rough…