Learning about Lesbian Sex from The Internet

by Petit Fours

After women fall back, damp, still shaking and exhausted onto the mattress, they sometimes ask me how l learned to do whatever neat little moves I’ve just been pulling around their mons veneris.

The answer is simple.

I learned about sex on the internet. On the lesbian lifestyle sex section of About.com where Kathy Belge the sex columnist first taught me what tribadism is and a step-by-step guide to oral. It’s here, it’s very informative and I’d really recommend it. (I don’t give them the url in real life, but that’s it right there).

l exaggerate –but only a little. Some girls simply aren’t capable of conversation afterwards so we never get as far as Kathy, but among those that do the reaction is surprisingly similar. They are surprised, no, amused by the fact that l have learned about sex on the internet.

To a certain extent, learning about sex from the internet undermines a girl’s reputation as a smooth operator. Perhaps it sounds a little nerdy – more Zuckerberg than Casanova. But, really, where on earth else is an embarrassed 18 year-old in the ‘burbs supposed to find out about lesbian sex? Let me tell you – despite what it sounds like – “sex education” in school is never about anything useful. In fact I picked nothing whatsoever in that class that has been helpful in a sex situation.

Ideally of course, some practised, slightly world-weary older woman would instruct you in the ways of it in between dragging on a cigarette and giving wardrobe advice, or perhaps the cute, bad-ass bisexual goth kid in English class would help you try it out after school over some Neil Gaiman comic books – but really – I can’t be blamed that that didn’t happen. It wasn’t like I was turning hordes of them down in favour of a night in with About.com and a history essay.

The internet opened up some magic pathways to me -I didn’t even know oral sex was a thing until I read it online. Well, turns out it is.

As a teenager, this pretty well blew my mind:

“Spend some time and get your lover excited before making the plunge. Tease her whole body before you head south. When having oral sex with your lover, it’s not all about her clitoris. Let your mouth and tongue explore her whole labia, clitoris and vagina.”

I mean, it’s not Shakespeare but it told me a lot more than I knew before I read it. Then the forum boards of the Queer Youth Network were a great resource, and there are always good general guides like the video ‘How to Kiss Passionately‘.

Okay so there’s a lot about lesbian sex on the internet that isn’t particularly helpful so I’d counsel you to be selective in getting your techniques from there. And uh practising with a real person is great too – when the opportunity comes up.