The Pros and Cons of dating a druggie
by Petit Fours
Your girlfriend/squeeze/shag-buddy takes something of a Friday night and it’s not just full-fat coca cola. Uppers, downers, both, or just indiscriminate powdery stuff, drugs of all kinds are kicking around the scene so if you don’t partake then chances still are that you’ll end up dating someone who does. If you do, then this is a little reflection on the experience of being the one listening to you explain how your head is going like “woo-woo” and dabbing your forehead the next day. Like most things in life, dating a girl with a habit has ups and downs. This is the TMC pros and cons list:
Pros
1 Your life is more like Skins. Does a TV drama about beautiful but mad teenagers taking drugs and looking sort of cool really override years of drug education and sensible thought? Yes it does override them. TV is powerful. Basically it associates drugs with hot teenage sex, being cool, cool teenagers who are hot, having hot sex with cool teenagers in store-cupboards, lesbian first kisses and – you get the gist.
2 If it turns out you want some drugs yourself, you know where to get them.
3 When people do that annoying drug chat where they tirelessly discuss their symptoms and side-effects – and what they felt like after 10 minutes and 30 minutes, and whether they had to go to the toilet a lot and whether they were more chatty than average or just the same chatty, you’ll be able to join in with knowledgeable comments based on an observation of your gf’s experience, without actually having to do any of the weird shit yourself.
Cons
There are also cons:
1 It’s Saturday morning, the sun’s shining, you want to get up and run around with the daffodils. Squeeze is still in bed moaning and only speaking to ask you to get water for her. This goes on till LATE AFTERNOON: awful.
2 She might die. We all do, in the end, but she might do it quicker! :*(
3 Literally no sex. Only by 8pm on Sunday night has she recovered enough to get your jeans off and by that stage you are watching something on iPlayer, and she is still a bit too shaky and prone to reflux to pull off anything longer than 2 minutes. #sexfail.
4 All the other legal and health issues arising from the consumption of illegal substances.
Related: Tuesday Top Ten… New Year’s resolutions, Social lubrication and Why I date girls with rats
oh christ. i find this kind of thing so demented. there are no pros to dating a druggie, because an addict is an addict, and saying that there’s something good about someone whose sick like that is like vindicating, or even celebrating, the drug use. i’m not squeaky clean, and i’m not a prude, and i’ve done a lot of things in my life that i’m not proud of, but i also know what it’s like when you wake up at a friend’s house and they’re so fucked that they can’t get out of bed til the next day. i’ve had friends wander around london for hours in the middle of the night with no idea where they are or what they’re doing. i’ve been the only sober person at a party in an unfamiliar city. there’s nothing positive about recreational drug use because there’s nothing positive about blank stupidity.
Hmm, I think I’d have to disagree with DFC.
Pushing aside for the moment the fact I feel this article is more in jest than seriousness anyway, I wouldn’t personally equate all drug use with addiction. In my mind drug use and addiction are two very separate things, that’s why smoking, gambling, alcohol and even sex can become addictive. Furthermore I think the word ‘druggie’ is a blanket term which can be used to refer to someone who pops the occasional pill within a social setting as much as someone who suffers from a serious addiction. To me there is a world of difference between these two scenarios and to equate them both as ‘blank stupidity’ neglects to take this difference into account and also fails to identify the problems of addiction.
I think the stigma vs acceptability of drug-use is culturally specific as oppose to hard core truths and therefore open to a lot of interpretation. However one chooses to do so is entirely up to them, providing they know the law and the risks.
mm fair point DFC and yes the cons do outweigh the pros…
but – i have always found that stuff which is flat-out down on drugs is kind of unconvincing because it ignores the reasons why people do them… which i guess is something to do with shared experience. i think so anyway.
and if we did just ignore it then, we’d be ignoring a large swathe of experience..
fair enough. i guess i jumped to conclusions looking at the first point – life would be more like skins – and if you consider the way drug use is portrayed therein, where young people begin very heavy use of substances that can seriously fuck them up to the extent that people have died in the series, that’s not something i consider a positive. i’m not saying that nobody should try anything ever – i’d be a hypocrite if i did, and besides, forbidden fruit and all that, but regular drug use is really rather disgusting.
I very much doubt any self-respecting adult would model themselves on a Skins character. Yuk. How about this: drugs are fun and they make you feel good….just best not to overdo it if. People have been taking recreational drugs since the beginning of time because of their mind altering qualities. Helen of Troy liked a puff of opium now and again. Everything in moderation including moderation itself.
DFC, surely this is totally tongue-in-cheek? From an outside perspective, I can see nowhere in this article where Petit actually promotes, or even agrees with drug use.
As a 100% no-drink-no-drugs girlie, I just thought this was mega LOLz. I kind of find all drugs (included alcohol, which IMO is the worst of them all) pretty gross, but each to her own brand of narcotic I guess.
I can’t recall any Skins characters actually dying from drugs: of the two main deaths that have occurred in all four seasons the first was a result of a hereditary condition (Chris) and the second was murder (Freddie). Other deaths include a suicide and Sid’s dad neither of which had anything to do with regular drug use.
I think labelling regular drug use as ‘disgusting’ reeks of discriminatory judgement. I don’t think there is anything more disgusting in regular drug use than there is in regular smoking or drinking, it’s just that some of these activities are more socially acceptable than others.
Like Fairy Cake I’m not much of a fan of any of these activities for myself. You’re more likely to catch me with a pen than a cigarette. Personally I find smoking especially unappealing, still I don’t pass judgement on those who do it. It’s their body at the end of the day.
Of course DFC everyone is welcome to their own opinion.
the suicide occurred in no small part due to the fact that the character had taken drugs that night.
as a note – i’ve said before that i’m not condemning anyone who tries or experiments or has contact with drugs. neither am i condemning drug users themselves. i’m not insulting petit fours nor am i saying that this article is without its merits. i was just – *just* – saying that, really, if you think about it, there aren’t any real pros to dating a druggie. JUST SAYIN’
Hmm I thought the suicide was more to do with the awful Naomily infidelity scandal and stalker obsession to be honest, the drugs thing just added a bit of spice to the storyline.
But otherwise point taken! Lol!
Never dated or will date a druggie. Maybe a girl with an addictive personality…Many friends either take drugs now and then (I dont know how often). I have often been “asked for drugs” out in a club. My answer is always “I have hyrdration pills” then I keep dancing like…a drug adict?!? One thing that really is disturbing is when people try to force one way or another to take these damn drugs that they are enjoying so much. I like the open-mindness defo;but just how open minded an adiction to drugs is? I hope you know what I’m on about.
@Petit Fours: I loooove Mrs Frisbee and the Rats of Nimh!
The girl who killed herself on Skins was meant to be on MDMA. I don’t know about you but suicide would certainly be the absolute last thing on my mind while in the throes of a several hours long full-body orgasm.
Anyway, this article to me reads like vice magazine gone lesbian. Or in other words, it’s tongue in cheek bitches.
I liked this post and posted a response to it on our site.
http://sexgenderbody.com/content/my-response-pros-and-cons-dating-druggie
Thanks,
-arvan
@Devils Food Cake
“i’ve said before that i’m not condemning anyone who tries or experiments or has contact with drugs”
yet…
“there’s nothing positive about recreational drug use because there’s nothing positive about blank stupidity”
and
“regular drug use is really rather disgusting.”
As a fairly experienced drug user, I find this attitude closed-minded and depressing. There are very good reasons that sensible people (and I would count myself *fairly* sensible) take drugs: they offer a different perspective on life, you meet some amazing people, and they feel bloody marvellous. The key is to know where you’re buying it from, do it in a safe environment and make sure you’re keeping an eye on your friends.
To quote the late great B.Hicks:
“I know this is not a very popular idea. You don’t hear it too often any more … but it’s the truth. I have taken drugs before and … I had a real good time. Sorry. Didn’t murder anybody, didn’t rape anybody, didn’t rob anybody, didn’t beat anybody, didn’t lose – hmm – one fucking job, laughed my ass off, and went about my day. Sorry. Now, where’s my commercial?”
It is not disputed that regular rug use generally leads to dependancy on the substances one is using – this is the nature of drugs themselves. It is also not disputed that taking drugs fucks up your system – for example, snorting substances messes up your nasal cavity, taking LSD can change your brain chemistry, etc. Not to mention other effects of drug use – I’m not sure what your experience has been, but in mine, withdrawal is never pretty. Regular drug use is really rather disgusting, in my experience, because the way it affects both the user and those in the user’s general proximity is not, for lack of a better word, very nice. I stand by that statement.
Devils Food Cake says:
“It was a bit of sarcasm-lite, promise. Elsewhere we have made it v clear that drugs are bad news – in the same category as a Vanilla comeback tour or reacting to a spilt drink with a punch.”
- http://themostcake.co.uk/love-life/we-like/tuesday-top-ten-new-years-resolutions/
Take a whiff of your own joint DFC!
“It is not disputed that regular rug use generally leads to dependancy on the substances one is using – this is the nature of drugs themselves.”
It is pretty heavily disputed actually… most regularly used ‘party drugs’ aren’t actually addictive, as shown by many scientific studies.
But I guess we can agree to disagree!
@hackney cowgirl: “regular rug use generally leads to dependancy” :) there- now someone’s said it. the hidden dangers of going down too much.
@genderbodysex aka arvan – nice sensitive post, really like it.
This could have been so much better. you lot played it to safe. you always do.