Tuesday Top Ten… reasons to walk out on a blind date.
Now, I’ve never actually been on a blind date – there’s just something so nerve-wrecking about presenting yourself to a total stranger and I’m a total wuss – but I can imagine the whole scenario going totally wrong. If you’re brave enough to do it though, kudos to you my friend. Understandably, there are certain dealbreakers for all of us. Not so sure? Here are ten reasons I would call a date a night….
1. You seem to speak two different languages – and in hers, ‘deodorant’ doesn’t translate.
2. Four words: tracksuit bottoms in public.
3. She asks if you’re into scat. Or rainbow kisses (if you don’t know, don’t ask).
4. You ask what her favourite book is and she says ‘Cosmo’.
5. She offers you a key to her flat in the first ten minutes.
6. She throws up on your shoes. Or lap. Or general vicinity.

7. She asks if you would mind if her boyfriend joins you later.
8. She thinks the shirts that say ‘Nobody Knows I’m A Lesbian’ are hilarious.
9. She spends most of the evening wiping at her nose, then offers you coke under the table.
10. She proudly announces her membership of the BNP. NEXT.
Disclaimer: My girlfriend says I’m an elitist bitch for my reasons so perhaps one should take this with a grain of salt. She also thinks that ‘Vogue’ is a book, so perhaps I need to reconsider my options.




a rainbow kiss….? ooooh i see…
I am with your girlf on vogue.
elitist? nah… i’m definitely with you on these. bit traumatised by your picture though!
@ Candystripe: Hmm. I love her anyway. But I’m still not sure a magazine is a book!
@ MoonCake – inform your flatmate.
Not being elitist at all.
Nothing at all wrong with having standards.
my first foray into the lesbian world was university speed dating, but because only 5 people turned up we had 20 mins with each. it was like four blind dates in a row, but it was alright… tho’ one girl had aspergers and just wanted to tell me about why books were like manuals explaining how evil the human race was. that was a bit weird. I’d make that number 11 on the list.
Why, Petit Fours, I’m rather inclined to agree.