Tuesday Top Ten: things to do when periods CLASH
by Spotted Dick
Ever had it when Aunt Flow is visiting you whilst your girlfriend is ALSO riding the cotton pony? Known to many as ‘the curse’, forget the urge to merge, this is all about the urge to PURGE (unfertilised eggs) and the top ten things to do when you and your partner are surfing the red wave together.
1. Earn your redwings and do it anyway
Lay down some polythene sheets and re-enact some classic films, American Psycho, Silence of the Lambs… Jaws…?
oops, we did it again, photo: Sandy Kim
2. Buy hers and hers moon cups
Yes, they exist. Sharp sudden movements not advised, roller coasters, jitterbugging and pogo-sticking to be avoided at all costs. Enviromentally friendly they are, tampax secure they ain’t. Nothing says les like a moon cup and nothing says in a couple like buying matching things…
3. Discuss your relationship
Why keep things superficial, when you can go DEEP? Where’s it going? Are you “official”? Your periods have synced girls, are you spending too much time together?
4. Have an argument
A little sparring can be fun, keep it clean though, no low blows, you’re in enough pain as it is.
5. Non- sexual touching
Several highly-qualified sexperts (you know, them) claim that this can improve relationships. I, as a nookie rookie, am taking every nugget of nyphomation thrown my way.
6. Meet up with friends/ pursue hobbies
They do exist in the outside world.
7. Make a rag rug
When your rug’s a raggin’, get rag ruggin‘. A general lack of money, strong natural aptitude for crafts and abundance of old flannel shirts makes this a perfect choice for every menstruating muff diver.
it's a rag rug and it's made out of old flannel shirts, no i don't understand it either just click on the link if you want to know
8. Find someone else who’s not on their period
Come on…it’s only one week a month!…Only kidding – put down the lighters and step away from the bras. Only appropriate for hardened sex addicts.
9. Eat chocolate
This is not the time to try and shift that obligtory relationship weight, gained through snuggles, smooches and spoon feeding each other meringues and pastries no doubt.
10. Take a bath together
Loosen those cramps with a nice soak. Pretty important to be comfortable with your partner for this one, sitting at separate ends of the bath clutching your knees to your chest is not a great look. A word of warning though, this activity could potentially involve a lot of 5 or maybe even land you right back at 1.
Washing it all away, photo: snaggle.tooth on flickr
[Photo credits - Sandy Kim, via Platform Magazine and snaggle.tooth on Flickr]
i like the way you say “riding the cotton pony”
Hmm… I can’t think of anything sexual when it comes to ‘activities with a partner-both on period.’ All that comes to my mind are DVDs, chocolate cakes in your face, trying not to fart… in your face etc.
But when I am alone then it gets so much more sexual on your period. Why the hell is that? Is it because in my head its a kind of a ‘no no’ (to have sex whilst on period) therefore I get freakin horny all the time… ?
I think everything is definitely a lot more sensitive, that’s why if you can bear it you should try and go for it anyway I think…
I know this site is supposed to be a bit of fun and whatnot but some of these pictures are really disturbing and really quite vile. I don’t really understand the use of pictures like these when this site is supposed to be portraying the more feminine side of lesbians instead of the butch “dungarees wearing” lesbians. To be honest, pictures like the above don’t really denote that “fashionable” girly side of being gay. At all.
I just thought that this site was supposed to be a bit different and portray lesbians in a completely different light but I don’t really think the use of vulgar pictures is doing that…
Thanks for your comments custard, I am sorry you were offended by the images. However, this site is not supposed to show the “the more feminine side of lesbians instead of the butch “dungarees wearing” lesbians” at all, it is supposed to represent all equally. As I hope you can see from our articles and content we write for a broad range of people.
Maybe I should clarify that… While we lightheartedly refer to the dungarees stereotype in our about us section, that’s more a comment on the kind of narrow cliche the media etc presented us with when we were kids.
We don’t actually state that this site is more “girly”.
What we are interested in is representing the urban, particularly London, lez girl and therefore we do write about a number of topics that may reflect their interests: music, art, fashion… But when it comes to eg fashion hopefully our outlook is broad.
Ie… we definitely aim to write for all. Please debate below readers…
Jeez custard, get a grip….what exactly is dungarees wearing and non girly about those pics? We all get our periods whether they seep into our CK boxers or AP frillies, I think you get the picture. No???
It’s a shame some people freak at the sight of a
bit of period blood. Having a period is very feminine, many pre op ftm transexuals despise their periods as it’s a constant reminder of their biologically female body. I don’t think it’s something that should be taboo to forward thinking people. Times a changin’ custard.
woah – I chose the pictures. i was just trying to reflect what it actually looks like. when you compare it to all the advertised pictures of periods which are like boxes of snowy white tampons and brunette models wincing slightly.
okay I didn’t scour the internet for all pictures of menstruation ever, but i thought these ones were fine. the first photograph is quite shocking i admit ’cause you never usually see any photos like it, but hey it’s just realistic. it’s by a photographer who i think is good, sandy kim – a straight girl living in San Francisco. it’s not pretty-pretty or even v glam but I think it’s really different and honest. http://sandykim.com/girls.html – I really stand by it, i like her photographs
the other one okay – it’s some project by an american art student, so it is a bit more lurid than in real life but it’s not wildly different to what it looks like either. it’s quite an honest article so i just put some more honest pictures with it…
okay, they are a bit nsfw, now i see them again. it was just different.
The media in general always hold these kind of issues at arm’s length. I salute Petite for deciding to use such honest, frank pictures.
Custard : I am surprised that you have interpretted TMC in that way. I guess, in hindsight, that flippant comment in our blurb may give people the perception that we are a bunch of anti-dyke fashionistas. But, even if we were, I don’t associate the photographs used in this article as part of any lesbian denomination. They just pictures, innit. I would hope that this is a space where women feel they do not need to censor themselves.
And from the perspective of a Heat-reading, stiletto-wearing girly-girl, I would just like to say : femmes have periods too. And they ain’t any prettier.
Oh deerz. It’s just a bit of fun laydeez. Besides, according to my aunt, your period is a beautiful time when you feel creative and fertile bursting with the urge to create life. Handy she told me that, really, as I was under the impression it was the time I gained my body weight in retained water, screamed bloody murder at the nearest anyone and seriously contemplated ripping my uterus out of my body with my bare hands.
I hate it when people say ‘butch dungaree wearing lesbians’…? what is butch anyway? and what is femme? are they opposites? Not sure? I think too many lesbians get wound up in role playing and labels – which sucks in general. I think the media and today’s gay scene is moving un-healthily towards over glorified feminisation; which in turn can be seen to marginalise butch lesbians. Marginalising the butch can somewhat even re-instate heteronormative frameworks, where women feel they have to look feminine to accept their sexuality, or to be accepted by the straight world – It’s subtle but it’s surely happening…
At the same time I love the fact that TMC and lots of emerging artists are totally fine with celebrating their femininity, wearing heels, great fashion, and great long hair and more and still be comfortable with sexuality..but it’s not necessary to marginalise butch to get the femme voice heard…it’s all a continuum…you can have period blood splattered over your walls; bust out this season’s take on body conscious dungarees; and be uber femme butch…or butch femme…or just you!
“We want to rise against rainbows, waggle our index fingers spaffily at dungarees and point our derrieres in the general direction of Tori Amos. Be gone the clichés!”
“why does every lesbian I see on the telly-box look like my uncle and drive a truck”, rejoice! The Most Cake is proof that beyond Big Brother’s latest token gay, there’s a whole world of sophisticated lady-lovers ready to stand up, inspire…”
“for today’s sophisticated London lesbian,”
“where are all the progressive, stylish and super-talented lesbians we know exist (there you are!) being represented?”
The above are quotes taken from your “about us” section. I would like to clarify that I don’t find the pictures offensive but I find them unnecessary and gross- specifically the first picture. Nor am I squeamish at the sight of blood. I just felt that the first picture was unnecessary.
I have to refute what you say Lemon Tart. The impression given by your “about us” section and the first couple of months of this website suggested that you were something original. Something refreshing and something different to the other gay websites that in my opinion relate more to less feminine lesbians. It was nice to finally see a gay website that appeared to be directed more at the feminine end of the spectrum with fashion articles and some excellently written articles allowing for more sophisticated debates.
As for the other comments that have been left- I was relieved to finally see a group of rather talented, sophisticated and stylish ladies stand up for those gay women who are stiletto and mini skirt wearing lady lovers who are frequently left in a shaded corner and out shone by the stereotypes that do rather unfortunately exist to a high degree.
I’m just a little disappointed by the standards recently that’s all.
NB- I still love Petit Fours style although I realise that she did not write the article. I’m just expressing my own personal distaste at several of the pictures.
don’t know about you, but I’m most disturbed by the MIDDLE picture.
someone give the previous commenter a cuddle (are you ON your period?) CTFO! The pics are funny. Diva wouldn’t use them. I approve.
x
Oh cmon’, London is supposed to have a liberal ‘visual culture,’ there is enough censorship everywhere around.
I don’t see any problem with the photographs. Let’s not be like ‘sorry’ every time you accidentally ‘touch’ a stranger or ordering cappuccinos all the time in fear of offending the black coffee… where is the logic in that?
I am so glad this website is not falling under these banal London ‘cliches/rules’
Just say your goddamn opinion and voila, we all have right to do so .
Lesbians are as varied as the human population is, the only common factor is shagging the same sex.
So Custard, its cool you have different opinion, everybody sees things differently, but it does not underestimate the article in any way.
ooh. ouch. custard, i appreciate your opinion, but i am appalled at your apparent separation of butch women (or non-femme women) and ‘sophistication’ or ‘progressive, stylish and suer-talented’. FYI – a woman can be sophisticated, stylish, progressive and super-talented as well as being – shock horror – butch. it’s a very closed-minded view to take that those qualities are exclusive to femme women.
on a parallel, femme women can also wear dungarees and look like someone’s uncle. just sayin’.
also, i resent the idea that to be original, you must only pander to the ideals of one group of gay women. the group of us that run tmc are as varied as – yes – the rainbow. there’s no way we’d exclude ourselves from the audience of something we created!
I think the pictures are very crudely spot on and very arty and close my idea of what pictures i would put to illustrate such an article had i written it myself, but i must have a dark mind, i mean, i love the Scene in Anatomy of Hell with the tampon in the glass. And also,. to TMC, there is a lot more one can do sexually when both of us are on a period. Let me be crude one last time here if i may. Firslty, there is the infamous me wanting to go down on a woman regardless of if she is on or not on a period, and also being so sexual like BumBra puts it when on a period that anal sex comes on my mind a lot, not on yours? Ha, well, dears… :)
Coussin…you naughty lady.
Let’s just call it quits yah? TMC encouarge debate…it’s important to air these things out. We need to know what’s good/bad so we can keep getting better, right?
Now that’s all sorted, I would just like to say : Saturday is going to rule HARD. I hope you all can come, regardless of your stance on the period pictures. Amazing artists, great tunes, and phitt girlies.. We all friends! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Coussin, will you be my Number 8 lady ;-) ??
coussin de Lyon_ oh la la ;p
see you all period lovers/haters on Saturday!
I am not on one ;/
ha ha xxx
Oui oui, see you all at the TMC party, we are all friends blabla. About saturday though, If you knew how happy i was when i got the FB invite weeks ago- i was like ‘YESSS!!! another of those amazing parties!’!! So i’m really looking forward to it…
Now, to Jam roly poly, i really wonder what a Number 8 lady is. I will ask BumBra when i see her on saturday! I’m sure she knows what it stands for. xx
Ooh I missed this wee ruckus, love a bit of healthy debate. I love the pictures you used – shouldha stuck this one in there too though: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/02/menstruation-feminist-activists
The first thing that I saw when I clicked on this link was the picture at the top. Now, if I hadn’t read any of the topic and just saw that picture, having sex whilst on my period would not be the first thing that entered my head. It has also been construed as a woman that has just been raped (when I showed it to several friends both gay and straight). I just think that the picture was inappropriate.
Furthermore Devils Food Cake- your aunt is biologically wrong and obviously your interpretation is also incorrect. As the majority of women know- a period is not the result of fertility; it is the result of an unfertilised oocyte and the breaking away of the uterus that has built up in expectance of fertilisation. Having periods doesn’t even demonstrate fertility. There are plenty of women who cannot have children even though they menstruate every month. So, really, a period is the opposite of fertility.
In response to your “close minded” comment. I am not making any attempts to segregate feminine women I just thought that this website was supposed to be refreshingly original in that it was aimed at a certain spectrum of women that I personally feel are very under represented and I am disappointed that it has become much like the other gay websites out there. I apologise for my excitement that has led to my misinterpretation of the website.
This picture is beautiful!! Thanks for posting it! Really.
Hey custard, i’ve got a dead horse on the phone, it’s asking that you kindly desist from flogging it.
HA!
You have an excellent turn of phrase, Spotted Dick.
“Riding the cotton pony”/”pursue hobbies”, indeed.
My ex and I used to have massive “talks” when we were both on our rags. Talks and snuggles and chocolate.
Hooray for periods.
Hooray for being a woman.
Waiting for Custard to point out that a dead horse would be incapable of using the telephone. Oh how I laughed Miss Roly Poly.
Only kidding Custard, its all good, yeah? Both Butches and Femmes (how 1950′s) love TheMostCake – lets rejoice!
I really enjoyed reading all these comments (as well as the article itself). I think that all the posts are usually far too nice and positive. I do love love it when the claws are out (not really that would be painful and unhygenic). Period schmeriod, I say. It gets rid of cramps and it’s only the stuff that’s lined your womb for 21days!
hey, i took the bottom photo and i just saw this! firstly, i’d like to say i’m thrilled it was used on the site.
however, i’d like to point out, petit fours, that i’m not an american art student, i’m a british law student living in london!
and also, it’s not ‘more lurid’ than it looks in real life – that’s my period blood, collected by mooncup, frozen into an icecube and then melted in cold bath and the water drained.
oh hi barkbirch – thanks for making that photo, it is definitely an addition to the range of period photos out there. believe me there aren’t that many. (maybe we should do a gallery sometime… )
love that you had the idea to do that, why?
don’t know why i thought you were american, must have read one of the flickr comments wrong.. sor about that.
man i forgot how good this comment thread was..
a period exhibition would be the tits! unfortunately, some crazy spaniards got there first. that photo has been in a small exhibition in madrid, all about period blood, called “my body is a battleground” (i forget what that it is spanish). i have a picture somewhere of two blokes peering intently at my photo, hanging next to a pair of stained knickers. so excellent.
hum hum i had mixed reasons – this photo was a test for melting the icecubes. after i did that, i took photos of my boyfriend wearing a necklace made of period blood icecubes, naked. (you can see those photos on my flickr stream, which you have kindly linked to, if there is any reason you would like to see such a thing). my primary reason for taking the photos was because i found it pretty funny. i wanted to do a parody of terrible conceptual art. but, while i don’t take it super seriously, i also feel very strongly that period blood is not disgusting, not even a little bit, at all. so – a mixture of taking the piss out of pretentious contemporary art, while also secretly embodying pretentious contemporary art.
great post as usual!
Amazed by a couple of things here. Firstly I cannot believe women are still shoving bleached cotton up themselves when they could be using a mooncup! Only people who haven’t tried one think they’re ‘not secure’. As for sex, you can still do everything when you have your period (and I don’t mean rollerskating/ playing tennis); I don’t understand the point of this article/ debate! If you’re scared of your own blood use a different hole. Oh, you’re probably scared of your own shit too..
Secondly I’m gobsmacked to see some women equating ‘butch’ with undesirable. I have so much to say about this I don’t even know where to start.
disgusting
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