Tuesday Top Ten… worst ways to come out.
by Devil’s Food Cake and Bon Bon
I think we can all pretty much agree that coming out is almost always a horror story. There are some good times, sure, but, like the girl with the curl, when it’s bad, it’s horrid. My own (semi-) coming out experience wasn’t so much a “coming out” as it was a dragging out – and I was kicking and screaming every inch of the way. Maybe this is for the comic value or maybe it’s just to make myself feel better, but in either case, behold, dear readers – the top ten worst ways to come out.
1. On a post-it note. It didn’t work for Carrie – it’s unlikely to work for anyone else.
2. Getting drunk and singing it to your entire family at a reunion. Or worse, a funeral.
3. By inviting your parents to your big, fat, lesbian wedding. Surprise!
4. Printing up flyers and distributing them around your neighbourhood. Informative, yes. A good idea? Probably not.
5. At the national BNP festival.
6. Leave a love/sex letter around for your mum to find. A mistake, it may be, but it is bad nonetheless (I did this).
7. Invite your parents to stripper night at the Candy Bar.
8. Give your crazy stalker ex-girlfriend your parents’ address and leave it to her.
9. Send your parents a video of your drag king alter ego.
10. Inform them you write for The Most Cake. Or Facebook friend them. Without privacy blockers.
Have you come out? How did it go?
…or have your first GF’s mum walk in on you whilst her darling daughter is knuckle-deep and going down on you – GF’s mad mother then proceeds to phone your own mum up in a complete rage and tell her exactly what is going :(
subtle.
Hahaha! Lovely!
Telling parents (etc) you write for TMC (obvs that doesn’t work for all of us) or adding them on a facebook is a perfectly good way to come out. It’s not a big OH HAI GAY DAUGHTER HERE BTW, but just leaves them to work it out for themselves. Less traumatic I reckon. I never came out to anyone – I just let my parents figure out for themselves why the same friend was staying overnight quite so frequently… and then when my Mum asked whether I’d seen Tipping The Velvet I knew she’d noticed. Bless.
I guess it’s not that shocking if you add them on facebook – that is unless there are a number of activities that have been photographically archived on facebook. And I guess telling them you write for an [awesome?] website isn’t too messy either – unless you over-react like my mom, in which case it would be. Though EVERY way is a bad way to come out to my mom.
I phoned home crying my eyes out because my heart had been broken… and then let slip the girl who had broken its name… Not what my Mum was expecting. Huge pause, massive shock, she was gob smacked. But she was mainly focused on looking after me so all seemed to return to normal pretty quick!
Parents finding large amounts of lesbian pornography on your computer when you are really quite young = bad. Although at least I wasn’t IN the pornography!
Still probably not as bad as Upside Down, mind…
I was pictured at a gay event in the Evening Standard. I photo copied it and faxed it to my parents.
My Uni pal came out to his mum on the phone. He was sobbing so she asked what the matter was, he responded: ‘I’m bisexual and my boyfriend just tried to kill me’.
My mother’s response, “can I tell my tennis group?”
My Mum walked in on me having sex… Fun Times!
I did 6. Cringe. Except it was a slightly more hi-tech version in that an email was open. Let’s just say it didn’t go down great…