TTT Special: Eurovision Edition

by Devil’s Food Cake

So Eurovision is over for the year – it’s time to pack away our score sheets, our voting fingers and our EU cupcakes. But though this year’s contestants are gone, they are certainly not forgotten, though admittedly some of them would be better left as such. As I look back on the wreckage of last evening, I feel like now’s a good time to recount the more memorable moments of Eurovisions past. And so, in lieu of this past week’s Tuesday top Ten, we have a Sunday countdown of some of the Cakette’s favourite Eurovision entries.

1. Charlotte Perelli – Hero (Sweden, 2008 finalist)

I love this song, and I have no idea why. I’m also totally captivated by how much Ms. Perelli, who won for Sweden back in 1999 with ‘Take me to your Heaven’, looks like a cat. Plastic surgery does wonderful things to your face.

2. Lordi – Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland, 2006 winners)

I wonder how much crack it took to come up with this idea. “Let’s dress up as characters from World of Warcraft and go to Eurovision”. And yet – success. It boggles the mind.

3. Gina G (United Kingdom, 1996 finalist)

Yes, she was Australian. But this was a CLASSIC. I’m still not sure how this came 8th. Fucking travesty.

4. ABBA – Waterloo (Sweden, 1974 winners)

I hope you’re not lactose intolerant, because that was LEGEN- wait for it -DAIRY (h/t Barney Stinson)

5. Celine Dion – Ne partez pas sans moi (Switzerland, 1988 winner)

Listen – I can’t stand this song. I can’t stand Celine Dion. And I’m not sure why a Canadian is representing Switzerland in Eurovision. But look at the lady’s hair. And her outfit. That shit will haunt her for the rest of her life.

6. Svetlana Loboda – Be My Valentine/Anti-Crisis Girl (Ukraine, 2009 finalist)

50% of the lyrics for this song are the word ‘boom’ (pronounced ‘bom’). And one of the lines goes: I’m very busy BOM/It’s not so easy BOM/I’m gonna tease you BOM BOM/Without a reason BOM

Also, there are lots of half naked, writhing dancers, who are dressed as ROMAN SOLDIERS. ‘NUFF SAID.

7. Dana International – Diva (Israel, 1998 winner)

Let no-one say that Eurovision isn’t the gayest (LGBT-ist?) thing in the world. In a really, really awesome way.

8. Marija Šerifović – Molitva (Serbia, 2007 winner)

Gay boys get sequinned hotpants and queens in drag. We get tuxedos. I’m not complaining. I actually think this song is gorgeous. And that heart thing at the end! SOB.

9. Katrina and the Waves – Love Shine a Light (United Kingdom, 1997 winners)

Just in case we’d forgotten what a good British entry sounded like – Scooch and Daz Sampson, I’m talking to you – this was the last time the UK won Eurovision. Fear not, though. British pride can be shored up by the fact that the UK still ties in second place for the highest number of Eurovision wins, after Ireland (7), with France and Luxembourg (5 each).

10. Lena – Satellite (Germany, 2010 winner)

And finally, this year’s winner. Truth be told, this was the song I was rooting for, so this makes me happy!

Did you watch Eurovision this year? Who was your favourite to win? What are your favourite songs from Eurovisions past?