Gays Gone Wild

by Devil’s Food Cake

Ever been utterly dateless? Stranded in a desert of singleness without a girl in sight? Convinced that you’ll never kiss – let alone shag – another human being again? The American right-wing Bible-thumpers have an ingenious solution for you: join the military. Confused? So am I.

According to this article in the Guardian, the good ol’ US of A is up in arms about plans to repeal the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy that’s been used to keep military homos in line for decades. More specifically, some crazy lady who heads some crazy right-wing organization has been blathering left, right and centre about the supposed dangers of repealing the penalties for serving in the military and being openly gay. The dangers, of course, are that the minute the floodgates are opened, us queers will start jumping on every. heterosexual. thing. walking. Troop morale will be eroded, violence amongst comrades will become the norm and the “macho men” of the military will be utterly undermined by the presence of unashamed, flaming queers.

 

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know why these nutbags aren’t more creative. What’s the point of making all these fantastically outrageous accusations about gay people if you’re not going to put some real effort into it? Gays serving openly in the military? Fire! Brimstone! Nobody will respect us and the sky will fall down and Chicken Little won’t even have time to warn anyone, so quick will be our downfall! Sudden meteor storms will strike the earth, the couch will become a gate to another world and somebody will finally slap Taylor Swift.

As a disclaimer, I obviously don’t believe any of the above. But I find it more than a little insulting, as well as a sign of frightful stupidity, that there are people who believe this garbage. And I have to ask – why? What harm will it do anyone if the constitutional, civil rights of gay people are upheld? What are these people so afraid of? The problem with intolerance is that it is so often rooted in some irrational fear, or some kind of rampant stupidity. To say that Andrea Lafferty’s proclamations are ridiculous would be an understatement. But there’s no telling some people – and I’ve learned the hard way that you can shout and scream and cry and argue and explain til your face turns blue to no avail. I guess the best thing to do is to try anyway. Change as many hearts and minds as you can as best you can – then keep your fingers crossed and hope evolution sorts out the rest.