Mr. Whippy Won’t Solve This One

by Fairy Cake

As political parties go, nobody does gay-bashing quite like the Tories.

But this year, as D-Cam and crew rolled out Tory 2.0, some queers may have felt that a gay Conservative vote wasn’t a complete contradiction in terms. “Look at our youthful complexions and willingness to admit our past failures”, they seemed to say, “We can’t even spell Thatcher.”

Unsurprisingly, in the last month, the Tories’ platitudes and buzzwords have fallen away to reveal that same brand of Conservative prejudice many of us feel all too familiar with. Cameron’s recent interview with Gay Times, and Chris Grayling’s voiced support for “no poofs please”  B&B owners, was enough for leading Tory activist Anastasia Beaumont-Bott to jump ship to Labour, and many queers to rethink whose box they’ll be ticking this year.

But, as many high-profile homophobes know, us gays are not the type to go quietly. And what better way to show a political party that you’re upset about their attitudes towards queer people than by rocking up outside their HQ on a windy Sunday afternoon and having a big gay snog? Yes, we thought so too, but the better ways would have involved a lot less snogging.

Saturday’s Big Gay Flash Mob, organised by lesbi-activist and leader of left-wing party ‘The Conmons’  Tamsin Omond, was not only a successful speed dating event, but also a chance for the disgruntled queer community to show the Tories where to shove their imaginary second homes. Despite Conservative attempts to dissolve the protest with two strategically-placed ice cream vans (no joke.), the riot was a real…riot. Being all political like, TMC went along to said event, and interviewed some of the angry mob.

Pictures by Bindz Patel

LAURA,

I’m here because gay rights are very important to me, obviously. Our rights are so compromised, and so many parties don‘t keep their promises. Even if they did, there are two weak policies in their manifesto that affect as – I mean…come on! I’m voting Lib Dem this year. I really like their stance on tackling homophobia at school-level.

CARMEN

I’m here because Grayling’s a twat. I’m voting Labour because…y’know…I don’t know. My family have always voted Labour. The Conservatives don’t have any clear policies when it comes to gay people. I wouldn’t vote Lib Dem, as I still think of it as a wasted vote.

REBECCA

I feel the Conservatives have let gay people down over the last 20 years, section 28 being the biggie. Ultimately, I’ve decided to vote Labour. They’re a lesser evil. I can see how, strategically, in some constituencies it may make sense to vote Lib Dem, but in mine they’re simply not in with a chance.

AVIVIT

This is the least I could do. I was just discussing with a friend as to whether there is any gay lobbying over here. Protesting only has a very small impact. This is my first time to vote in the general election. Back where I come from, in Israel, we have a completely different voting system. I’m still doing my research…

BECS

I have no idea who I’m voting for this year, they all seem equally terrible. I was thinking Lib Dem, but every time I tell someone that they say “Oh no, give it up. Nothing will ever happen.”. But this year, I may stick to my guns. I came today because it sounded fun, and I was promised snogging. I was jumped by an agressive lesbian when I got here. It was awesome.

LAURA

The Tories are regressive, knee-jerk twats. I can’t decide who I want in though.

BRENDAN

I’m worried the Tories will introduce financial cuts more rapidly. I’m going to vote Labour, though I’m very unhappy with the way the party have behaved. Any social reforms they have introduced for gay people have been minimal. If you take, for example, that Labour are introducing 449 mil of cuts in higher education, this means young gay people from working class backgrounds won’t have the opportunity to go to university, and it’s often at this level that people are able to finally express and explore their sexuality. A lot of people will not get that experience now. In my constituency it’s a two horse race – though if, by some miracle, the Lib Dems are second, I will vote for them. My Labour vote would be an act of self defence.

CHAVI AND HENDRI

We are both from Barcelona originally. We‘ve been here for 3 years, so it’s quite frustrating to not be able to voice our opinions. Events like this are the only way we can express our views. Queers can marry in Spain, and we have the same adoption rights as straight people. Sometimes you think that Western counties would be further forward with these issues, but obviously not.

ANTONIA

I was going to vote Tory before today – they seemed the lesser of two evils. However, even following the slurs, I think I’d still have the Conservatives in over Labour. Anything to keep them out; I feel so let down by them.

ANDY

Lib Dem, all the way. I guess I always felt they were the party with the same beliefs as me. However, I may change my mind if it looks like the Tories may slide in…simply to keep them out.

So, where do you stand?  Be sure to comment our sweet ass down below.  If you haven’t already registered to vote this year, you can find out how at AboutMyVote.co.uk. And if all that long-winded manifesto guff gets your brain hurting, let this glorious little site help you work out which party you should be rooting for…