Cake snaps at Twat Boutique’s Hell House, October 31st

by Lemon Tart

I got a little depressed on the way to Hell House. Firstly by the RIDICULOUS Blackberry ads plastered all over my local tube station, which are essentially trying to sell mobile phones by comparing them to love, and include quotes like ‘Love conquers everything’ and ‘Love changes everything’. Jeez. You’re trying to sell a piece of plastic with a sim card in it, not write an airport novel. Then, the skinny 13-year-old boy singing along to Tupac like he was the next Tupac was pretty irksome. He wasn’t, I assure you.

Anyway, I digress. What really got me down were the shoals of girls I saw dressed as one of the following:

a) Tart in a bag. IE. The prossie outfit you can buy, ready to wear, which comes complete with as many laces and bows as possible, all packaged in a plastic pouch.

b) Halloween cat slut. The above, but a cat.

There’s no denying they were pretty hot. But Halloween’s all about being chums with the devil for one night only, and as the Rolling Stones would say, he’s a man of “wealth and taste” who demands you use all your “well learned politesse”. Well, the above two outfits hardly scream wit and devilish sartorial plotting now do they.

Enter Hell House’s amazing above-93-Feet-East domain, and the tale could not have been more different. Any reveller wandering through its warren of Victorian drawing rooms was bombarded with the most fantastic outfits, ranging from a girl dressed as Facebook, another as Cruella de Vil with her dalmation, and a couple of gals posing as the Lehman Brothers.

And what had they all dressed up for? Hell House’s top of the range performance and music offerings, of course. A few of my faves included the bewitching Anna Calvi, Hellcat dancers performing Guts for Garters, cakes courtesy of The Great Cake Escape, and musical masters The Creeps, The Twats and Tits of Death doing their DJing thing. All served with a happy-meal sized portion of Twat Boutique happy-feelings. Lovely, lovely, luv-erly!

All in all, devilishly good. (You see that play on words there? I know. Amazing.)

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The next Twat Boutqiue will take place on Thursday November 5th. Go here for more information.

photographs by Holly Falconer