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Posted January 17, 2010 by in SCENE
 
 

Gay Slang vol.3: Dez and the dezalphabet

Dez. This word has been doing the rounds in the Dalston lesbian vocabulary like a sexually-transmitted disease in a community in which the use of dentals dams is very low. I didn’t know what dez meant for a long time. After two months of thinking “oh, it’ll go away, my facebook friends will finally stop saying dez and it won’t matter that I don’t know what it means”, I cracked, asked, and now am in a state of enlightenment.

Urbandictionary has a few definitions here, but the most complete definition ever – possibly of any word ever – is below. It’s called the Dezalphabet. We owe this gem to mysterious commenter “Rach” who shared the Dezalphabet with the world as a comment on last week’s Music Video Monday.  We thought it deserved a bit more space, so here is the little masterpiece. Who wrote it? I don’t know, tell us and we’ll credit properly.

puppy is dez for you

TMC does not officially endorse dez, we’re just sayin': it’s out there – stay informed, stay safe. If it would be beneficial to use a dental dam, then you have our blessing.

WE QUOTE:

“Ahh Dez. Well, recently a good friend of mine wrote the Dezalphabet, which I am happy to share:

Firstly, you must understand that there are 3 states of Dez.

1) Predez (when you are young and innocent and never been desperate for anyone before.. good time).
2) Dez (when you are are soooo into someone you start acting in a freak like nature.. midnight drunks calls leaving hundreds of tragic messages, stalking, building shrines in their honour.. Think Alice for Dana in L3)
3) Post/Anti Dez.. you are finally over it and never ever want to be such a loon ever again. Your heart is sealed..Until Dez comes back around….

The Dezalphabet

A is for Annoyingly dezz whereby one feels angry towards another for being dezz.

B is for Belated dezz, in which a feeling of dezz suddenly becomes apparent to one.

C is for Curiously dezz where one is intruiged and/or inquisitive about someone.

D is for Damaged dezz. Feelings of dezz will never leave. Permenant dezz. Ult tradge.

E is for Emancipated dezz. To be free from dezz through whichever mode; most commonly the act of adultery and or/domestic violence brings the realisation of non-dezz and therefore become free of dezz.

F is for False sense of dezz, when someone becomes non dezz for you,you are led into a false sense of dezz, even though you are not.

G is for Greedily dezz whereby a person is dezz for multiple people for no other reason than to be greedy.

H is for Holiday dezz. To be dezzy for someone on holiday. Plane journey home ends the dezz, or even just a shower.

I is for Ironically Dezz. To be dezz for someone who has been dezz for you in the past but is not dezz now you are dezz.

J is for Jokingly dezz, common form of dezz used in everyday conversation..”im dezzy for him *insert laughter and comic hecklingat such a ludicrous thought*”

K is for Keyboard Dezz. To be a ‘victim of Keyboard Dezz’, is to be ‘played’ by someone who appears to be dezz but has alterior motives.

L is for Lonely Dezz. The act of being physically alone whilst being dezz. Commonly tradge.

M is for Marry Me Dezz? A consequence of Psycho dezz, in which a person becomes so dezzy for s…omeone that they resort to extreme measures of dezz to be with them.ult tradge.

N is for Non dezz. the end.. “get over me”.

O is for Openly dezz. To not be afraid of expressing how dezz you are for another. Can be dangerous or rewarding.

P is for Psycho dezz. Mentally unstable. Dezz has taken over to the point of obsession, leading to late night visits to the person’s house and/or letters written in blood declaring your love.

Q is for Queer dezz. To be dezz for a gay.

R is for Recklessly dezz. Under the influence of vast amounts of alcohol, one can be recklessly dezz with someone who they would not be dezz for when one could see clearly.

S is for Silently dezz. To never imply, or verbally acknowledge a state of dezz for soemone. Only you are aware.

T is for Trial and error dezz where you embrace dezz on a trial basis, to result in true dezz or non-dezz.

U is for Uneventful dezz whereby nothing is done or achieved by being dezz.

V is for Vulgar dezz. To be… ashamed or uncontrollably dezz for someone who is outrageously non-contagious, yet are still weirdly dezzy.

W is for Work dezz. To be dezz for someone in the workplace.the end.

X is for eX-dezz. To be dezz for an ex-lover at any time; can be a factor of damaged dezz.

Y is for Yearly dezz. To be dezz for someone for a whole year or even longer. It is common to be unawarely yearly dezz and hence, not realise how long it has been.

Z is for deZZ. The act of being dezz for sleep.zzzz.

See also:

Gay slang vol.2: gold star lesbian

Gay slang vol.1: lesbian toilet party