Gay Slang vol.3: Dez and the dezalphabet
Dez. This word has been doing the rounds in the Dalston lesbian vocabulary like a sexually-transmitted disease in a community in which the use of dentals dams is very low. I didn’t know what dez meant for a long time. After two months of thinking “oh, it’ll go away, my facebook friends will finally stop saying dez and it won’t matter that I don’t know what it means”, I cracked, asked, and now am in a state of enlightenment.
Urbandictionary has a few definitions here, but the most complete definition ever – possibly of any word ever – is below. It’s called the Dezalphabet. We owe this gem to mysterious commenter “Rach” who shared the Dezalphabet with the world as a comment on last week’s Music Video Monday. We thought it deserved a bit more space, so here is the little masterpiece. Who wrote it? I don’t know, tell us and we’ll credit properly.
puppy is dez for you
TMC does not officially endorse dez, we’re just sayin’: it’s out there – stay informed, stay safe. If it would be beneficial to use a dental dam, then you have our blessing.
WE QUOTE:
“Ahh Dez. Well, recently a good friend of mine wrote the Dezalphabet, which I am happy to share:
Firstly, you must understand that there are 3 states of Dez.
1) Predez (when you are young and innocent and never been desperate for anyone before.. good time).
2) Dez (when you are are soooo into someone you start acting in a freak like nature.. midnight drunks calls leaving hundreds of tragic messages, stalking, building shrines in their honour.. Think Alice for Dana in L3)
3) Post/Anti Dez.. you are finally over it and never ever want to be such a loon ever again. Your heart is sealed..Until Dez comes back around….The Dezalphabet
A is for Annoyingly dezz whereby one feels angry towards another for being dezz.
B is for Belated dezz, in which a feeling of dezz suddenly becomes apparent to one.
C is for Curiously dezz where one is intruiged and/or inquisitive about someone.
D is for Damaged dezz. Feelings of dezz will never leave. Permenant dezz. Ult tradge.
E is for Emancipated dezz. To be free from dezz through whichever mode; most commonly the act of adultery and or/domestic violence brings the realisation of non-dezz and therefore become free of dezz.
F is for False sense of dezz, when someone becomes non dezz for you,you are led into a false sense of dezz, even though you are not.
G is for Greedily dezz whereby a person is dezz for multiple people for no other reason than to be greedy.
H is for Holiday dezz. To be dezzy for someone on holiday. Plane journey home ends the dezz, or even just a shower.
I is for Ironically Dezz. To be dezz for someone who has been dezz for you in the past but is not dezz now you are dezz.
J is for Jokingly dezz, common form of dezz used in everyday conversation..”im dezzy for him *insert laughter and comic hecklingat such a ludicrous thought*”
K is for Keyboard Dezz. To be a ‘victim of Keyboard Dezz’, is to be ‘played’ by someone who appears to be dezz but has alterior motives.
L is for Lonely Dezz. The act of being physically alone whilst being dezz. Commonly tradge.
M is for Marry Me Dezz? A consequence of Psycho dezz, in which a person becomes so dezzy for s…omeone that they resort to extreme measures of dezz to be with them.ult tradge.
N is for Non dezz. the end.. “get over me”.
O is for Openly dezz. To not be afraid of expressing how dezz you are for another. Can be dangerous or rewarding.
P is for Psycho dezz. Mentally unstable. Dezz has taken over to the point of obsession, leading to late night visits to the person’s house and/or letters written in blood declaring your love.
Q is for Queer dezz. To be dezz for a gay.
R is for Recklessly dezz. Under the influence of vast amounts of alcohol, one can be recklessly dezz with someone who they would not be dezz for when one could see clearly.
S is for Silently dezz. To never imply, or verbally acknowledge a state of dezz for soemone. Only you are aware.
T is for Trial and error dezz where you embrace dezz on a trial basis, to result in true dezz or non-dezz.
U is for Uneventful dezz whereby nothing is done or achieved by being dezz.
V is for Vulgar dezz. To be… ashamed or uncontrollably dezz for someone who is outrageously non-contagious, yet are still weirdly dezzy.
W is for Work dezz. To be dezz for someone in the workplace.the end.
X is for eX-dezz. To be dezz for an ex-lover at any time; can be a factor of damaged dezz.
Y is for Yearly dezz. To be dezz for someone for a whole year or even longer. It is common to be unawarely yearly dezz and hence, not realise how long it has been.
Z is for deZZ. The act of being dezz for sleep.zzzz.
See also:
Venus deztrap: a lesbian who lies and uses her seeming charms to lure other women in, as soon an innocent victim responds kindly she snaps and changes, labelling the victim a dez to anyone who’ll hear it. Very hard to spot in a crowd but exceedingly dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.
“my facebook friends” hahaha.
dez is a noxious and puerile addition to the dalston lez community. what a turn up for the books! also, the commenter has no idea about its real background which was purely innocent and never intended to humiliate others.
Could have saved yourself a lot of time by simply writing an entry for W:
‘Who has way too much time on their probably-sweating-with thoughts-of-cool-we-are hands? ME AND MY DEZ MATES’.
Sorry, gals – you ain’t responsible for a vital stage in the evolution of the English language, you just love the sound of your own zzzz’s. Why actively promote something based on widespread ridicule? Yet more evidence that the East is awash with playground politics.
Take your own ‘Non dezz’ advice – look in the mirror and say: “get over me”.
NB… “TMC does not officially endorse dez”
We put this out there for discussion and because of our own geeky inability to hear a word repeatedly said around us and not know what it means. We can certainly see the potentially negative repercussions of dez as well as the light-hearted sides. annoymymousse – please send us other words to define which you feel are worthy, we’ll have a good shot at it. xxx
annonymymousse,
marry me?
yours squeekily (not dezzly)
mouse
pretty funny to note that those who seem to bandy the word ‘dez’ around like it was their own (it never was) are perpetually single and/or insecure. gosh, that strikes mouse as a bit dez.
yeah – sorry anonymouse, but we ain’t promoting, we’re just reporting. anyway apologies for any offence and send some other ones along like lemon tart says n we’ll cover what we can.
and please do marry lemon tart… :)
Absolutely no problem whatsoever with the mostcake ladies doing their job – continue to hugely love your work.
It just strikes me a rather sad-making to think we lady-lovers should feel the need to codify a system based essentially on revelling in the perceived humiliation of others. When did it become an (alphabetized) crime to like someone?
Own your emotions, mousse says, and let there be love. X
Why are these people so proud to actively promote something that a) used to be mildly amusing, but has now had every molecule of comedic essence drained from its limp, beaten body, and b) is based on ridicule? Frankly, there aren’t enough of us for this kind of thinly veiled playground bitchiness/grading of one another on bizarre guidelines that translate any kind of active emotion into cause for public judgment.
LOVE to the TMC girls.
well said, kin and mousse.
i fear, however, that this will be water off the backs of those who use ‘dez’ and will merely be dismissed as ‘tradge’ (another horrid and mindless trunaction and completely misunderstanding the original word).
share the love. remember, blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours burn any brighter.
lady loves,
mouse
*truncation, obviously.
*truncation, obvs?
If the ability to feel for other people and act kindly towards others makes me then a dez, so be it. An inabilty to show/feel true emotion for someone you actually do care for isn’t something that should be worn like a badge of honour. This is completely backwards and not the way it should be. It’s truly saddening.
Dez n Proud
Custard wonders if anonymouse, annoymymousse, the mouse and Kin are all interlinked somehow? Sounds like severe “Charty-ness” to me, or indeed the same person…
anonymouse, i am totally dez for you and your dezision to opt out of using the term ‘dez’. gone are the dez of lez who would quite happily follow the crowd, for fear of being dezparaged.
not wanting to dezrespect you, but i am guessing, like me, you may have hit 30? an age where everything you hear is deemed in some way negative. this is where it begins anonymouse. we’re getting old. let the youth have their fun….. look at me still using lower case, no matter the punctuation…….and there is another ellipsis for good measure. it keeps me young, as do these wonderful new words doing the lez circuit.
thank you TMC, for bringing this to our attention and for making me cool again
No, Custard…we’re a bunch of disparate souls who just happen to have similar outlooks and just a smidge of decency.
Check your cynacism at the door, it’s not becoming.
Ah Dezdemoaner, as much as Mouse would like to give you an enchanted handkerchief and ultimately, murder you, she is happily taken and alas, quite considerably under 30.
Mouse would be more than happy to form a support group for those of us who have the capacity to like someone without needing to cloak it under irony and supposedly humorous wordsmithery.
DEZDEMOANERRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I like your elipses….they show your youthful spirit ;~). I’m sure you were always cool.
Yours,
Mousethello.
Dez n Proud
oh anonymouse, what i hear is profoundly positive and deafens my 30 something ears….a compliment, post dezmissive, less than subtle threat of homocide. i feel we are warming to each other.
i must however highlight, that you have yourself dezzed out on me. by stressing your ‘happily taken’ status..there wasn’t an offer on the cake plate mouse, but i am happy for your find.
stay true to your cause.
dez wishes
moaner
Custard thinks dezdamoaner is cool. Made me laugh anyway :)
hahahahahhaha this is orgasmic. I wish I had the capacity to enjoy it more but my cold heart says no. Sadly, I am forever damaged dezz…
soo… in conclusion, *nervous cough* lesbians have different opinions about things and, rather like that crazy blue woman in the X-Men film that was on at Christmas, dez is both good and bad at the same time.
eh?
I just have to say that is definitely the creepiest dog I’ve ever seen. Crikey imagine looking out your window on a stormy night and seeing that!