Stuff straight people say #1: “Is being a lesbian like being a vegetarian?”
by Petit Fours
People do have odd notions about groups they don’t know very well. On holiday abroad, if you say you’re British, people will rattle on about the Queen and tea and colonial massacres and any generic Brit/Western stereotype they can lay their hands on.
Which is why I wasn’t crazily suprised by my (straight) friend Ned asking me whether being a lesbian was like being a vegetarian.
Stereotypes do tend to sort of merge into each other, and however illogical it is, there seems to be some association between being a lesbian and not eating meat. Yes disproportionate numbers of lesbians are vegetarians. God only knows why. I have puzzled over it long enough. But anyway, it’s the sort of thing straight people latch onto and even though they try not to, “lesbian” flicks some short-circuit in their minds and takes them direct to stereotype number one: vegetarianism.
So I had to sit down and explain to my friend that neither lesbian sex, love or culture is like eating beans or tofu fritattas, though those things might be involved incidentally.
My answer went like this: “No, Ned, no. Being a lesbian is not like being a vegetarian. Lots of lesbians are vegetarians but that does not make the social identity the same as a dietary choice.”
I went onto say that equating lesbianism with vegetarianism made it out to be some kind of lack or deficiency. (Yes okay, I hear you veggies, you could describe vegetarianism as a plentitude of beans or a wealth of rye bread, but it is basically a lack of meat.)
And, yelling at him over the music in whatever random club we were in, I explained that being a lesbian isn’t like lacking sex with boys, it’s like wow, I get to have sex with girls. It’s a positive thing. It’s not cutting something out, it’s like choosing a different flavour.
(Early on I started to see some unfortunate symbolic connection between meat and cock, but I decided not pursue that.)
I don’t know if I really got through to Ned. At the end he said: “So is being a lesbian like not liking anchovies?” and I didn’t really know if that was progress or not.
I can only imagine what weird image of lesbianism I left him with.
Oh STRAIGHT PEOPLE!
“No, Ned, no.”
Oh you DO amuse P-4′s :D
Absolutely beyond me. Not a laughing matter.
Maybe your friend is just a soul who s intentions are good.
But I have a headache the size of Great Britain.
I dont like anchovies…what if he’s casually right! Does any of you lezs like anchovies?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqZnxvAPkL8 If only everyone including Michael took advice of this song…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90ipyWYO3LM
OOOOOOOOOOh…very bonito.
Here is a more recent straight analogy that I much prefer (given its commercial possibilities)(i.a. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QzmtZQMqso):
While giving a survey on sexual hygiene, when we let El Surveyor know that there would be a few responses that looked like they had been filled out by nymphomanic and moreover unhygienic participants, don’t worry, they were just us lesbians who happened to be in a committed relationship. His response? “What so you guys don’t get viruses, what so are lesbians like iMacs or something? what is the app for that?”
By the by I’m moving to London in a month or so, glad I found this page.
@B i wish lesbians were more like iMacs. Okay I’m reporting straight back here when someone asks me if being a lesbian is like being an iMac.
I think this is brilliant!
I’m also moving to London in about a month, so my friend linked me to this site. It’s so refreshing :)
It’s been a monthISH, Jayface, how’s life?
To everyone in general, I and my girlfriend moved to Peckham (via Philadelphia, for me), and are enjoying the cost of things mightily, as well as the exploration involved in making such a claim, but by way of asking for a shortcut, ya’ll have any recommendations about London and Peckham and its delights?
I thought I’d come back to this here thread rather than risk upsetting the thread of a newer one with my a-propos-of-nothing questions…ya know?
@brooke i wish there was more stuff going on south of the river. most lez stuff is either in soho or around the kingsland road. though new cross or camberwell have some more gay-friendly things, film nights and so on.
Generally, nice bars in peckham are the carpark bar and Bar Story.
Yo Brooke. Yeah I’ve lived in South-East London for five years and I’m afraid there’s not much gayness going on around these parts, although other than that, South-East is the BEST BIT of London to live in, so well done you. Keep an eye on listings at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern – not too far from Peckham is you hop on the 436 bendybus – e.g. http://www.rvt.org.uk/event/wotever-world-xtravaganza-best-bar-wotever-hot-august-fringe-show-2010, http://www.rvt.org.uk/event/ste-mccabes-queer-riot-hot-august-fringe-show-2010. RVT is generally pretty male though. Oh if you need like an LGBT sexual health/counseling centre there’s the Metro Centre in Greenwich, 25 mins away on the 177 – http://www.metrocentreonline.org/ – a good place to volunteer too if you’re into that kind of thing. That’s all I can think of right now.
ALSO peckham has a dead cheap cinema – im not sure what it is now but when i lived in camberwell, it was 3.99 any movie, any time. also, the camberwell crypt has a great jazz night on fridays – or, at least, it used to.
Oh yeah, the cinema prices have gone up a bit now (I remember the glory days of all tickets £2.99) but they’re still cheap. http://www.peckhamplex.com/
Yes the cinema is still that price, Devils Food Cake. I went to see Cats and Dogs II: The Revenge of Kitty Galore in 3d for that precise price and it was just so real and raw and emotional I highly recommend it.
Thanks and thanks Petit Fours & Ecclescake, for the suggestions. I will until further notice hang out centrally. Maybe one day you will even see me at an event as I am in the process of making new friends to temper my day job.
Colonization of Peckham is in the works. How can a road called Bird in Bush and not be a gay HQ? It doesn’t follow!!