The Hampstead Heath Lady Pond
by Petit Fours
To most people, the idea of jumping into a pond is not very attractive. I mean why? If you wanted cold water you’d have a cold shower, right. And maybe you only like getting up close and personal with a duck when it’s over soy sauce.
But I want to tell you about a special pond. A pond to convert pond-sceptics. The Hampstead Heath Lady Pond.
No, it’s not the French Riveria and no it’s not a bad euphemism either. It’s a nice ladies-only bathing pond in the rolling gay-friendly fields of Hampstead Heath.
There are actually three bathing ponds on Hampstead Heath: a mixed male/female pond, a Men’s one and the Lady pond. The Men’s pond is flaming gay, the Ladies’ pond is a more subtle mix: of well to-do local dowagers taking their constitutional dips, arty-verging-on-hippie lesbians and well, straight women who just like ponds. We’ve chosen to illustrate this with hot girls in bikinis, but that’s just a possible scenario rather than an accurate picture of what it’s like everyday.
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- Hot girls on the Heath 1
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- Hot girls on the heath 2
I won’t say that having pond water course off your slightly flabby bits while a small leaf sticks to your face is the most attractive thing ever. But, swimming round this green tree-circled pond on a hot day is tranquil bliss, a million miles from noisy chlorinated sheds called swimming pools..
The actual swimming bit is more about nature and less about girls. It’s not like you’d try to chat anyone up while you were actually both in pond. There’s a sign saying something to the effect of – keep your mouth shut in case you get gastrointestinal disease. Pfhuh, whatever, but I could see that few chat-up lines would ever work in a pond. There are more ‘opportunities’ afterwards as you casually dry off on the grassy bit at the side.
It’s not the meat-market cruise central that the boys’ bit seems to be, but it’s a nice bit of grass to dry off and you can look around if you want to. It must be one of the most lesbian bits of grass in London. There seems to be a topless is fine policy. Of course, some people suit that a good bit better than other people. It’s an individual call.
Helpful suggestion: the Lady Pond isn’t to everyone’s taste, if you mind being around naked old people and mud you won’t like this very much.
Helpful directions: To the best of my knowledge the closest tube is Kentish Town. Walk up the hill, and it’s on the side of Parliament Hill.
The hot photos in this article are by RORY DCS and appeared in Platform Magazine.
Guess where I’m going on my next (hot) day off.
Where? Iceland?
In all seriousness this does sound most funsome. I’m sold.
Possible chat up lines: “I like mud, and leaves as well. Do you?”
“Can I draw rainbows on you, all the colours will be shades of brown I’m afraid because I er will be using mud.”
“Gosh you’re topless.”
gee, you’d go down a storm with the pond girls.
I like the last line. Can we go on sunday and use it whilst pretending we’re from war-era britain?
I’ve been trying to get Black Forest to come to the ponds with me for ages but no luck. Maybe if I make her read this article, she’ll come around… hmmm. Otherwise, we should gt a picnic together and all go down!