Jumping the fence

by Devil’s Food Cake

Somebody needs to stop me from ever being able to read The Times, because more articles in this vein, and I’m going to round up a lynch mob. The latest in their interesting take on sexuality and gay women focusses on mid-life ‘fence-jumpers’, women who come out late in life and decide to leave their nice cushy lives with their husbands for the dark thrill of a Sapphic affair, running off with “notorious lesbians”. Really, I had no idea being gay was so very film noir. … Continue Reading

Tuesday Top Ten… office christmas party blunders

by Florentine

It’s that time of year again; odd German markets that only ever exist when it’s cold, winter wonderlands and the requisite bruises that accompany them (ice skating folks, ice skating) and – relevantly for this week’s Top Ten – more inadvisable hangovers than you can shake a litre bottle of Jack Daniels at.  Why?  Because it’s Christmas party season. … Continue Reading

A mother always knows

by Sticky Toffee Pudding

It is my suspicion that some mothers belong to a secret underground network of ancient mystical knowledge, like a society of supernatural spies.  It is during the process of birth (ours, not theirs) that they are initiated. The epidural that so many of them receive is really nothing more than a DMT style hallucinogen that transports their minds to this mysterious land of knowledge. It is here that they make the ultimate sacrifice (their physique) in return for an everlasting abundance of information regarding their child. Because a mother always knows. Always. … Continue Reading

Tuesday Top Ten… worst ways to come out.

by Devil’s Food Cake and Bon Bon

I think we can all pretty much agree that coming out is almost always a horror story. There are some good times, sure, but, like the girl with the curl, when it’s bad, it’s horrid. My own (semi-) coming out experience wasn’t so much a “coming out” as it was a dragging out – and I was kicking and screaming every inch of the way. Maybe this is for the comic value or maybe it’s just to make myself feel better, but in either case, behold, dear readers – the top ten worst ways to come out. … Continue Reading

An open letter to Lisa Snowdon.

by Devil’s Food Cake

Dear Lisa,

So I’m sitting here on the train back from Kent. It’s late, I’m cold, I’ve had a long day and the snotty teenagers who were making faces at me across the table have only just (finally) gotten off the train. I’m bored, tired, frustrated and I really need to wee. I’m also reading Star magazine (readers – forgive me). And then I come across this gem, from you: … Continue Reading

In defence of tourists

by Bon Bon

A girl from work took me out to lunch last week and asked if I found ‘straight gay angst’ annoying. Once I’d established this wasn’t angst about me being gay, which would have been annoying, but about her being a little gay, I assured her it wasn’t. Quite the opposite.  Girls wanting to know about girls liking girls - and coming to us for the information – isn’t unusual.  Over the years I’ve come across many of them.  A few are now some of the gayest girls I know, some are still with their boyfriends, and one or two, yes, really are bisexual.

… Continue Reading

In living colour?

by Devil’s Food Cake

Newsflash from the world of celebrity, where every opinion is indispensable: apparently, according to Jeremy Clarkson, TV is obsessed with hiring ‘Black, Muslim Lesbians’. This is to balance out the heterosexual, white male surplus. Forget the fact that I generally think Jeremy Clarkson is a knob, what I’d really like to know is where all these black, Muslim lesbians are. That’s a show I’d definitely watch.

… Continue Reading

So is La Roux out..?

by Petit Fours

Has the androgynous synth-popper with the dizzingly high quiff actually come out? She’s been pretty coy about the sexuality thing, what with the whole it’s-a-secret-no-one-will-ever-know line. But maybe the shell is slowly cracking. In an article in the Observer a few days ago she said a couple of things that hint at a queer identity of sorts. A few gender-ambiguous lines: … Continue Reading

How to fail at being a lesbian

by Florentine

Ever stepped tentatively into your first gay club and spent half the night patting yourself on the back for becoming the brave new, pioneering self you always knew you could be, before drinking enough WKD to dye your bloodstream blue and seeking out the only straight man in the whole building for another emotion-void snog?  Or perhaps you spent a solid eight months at the beck and call of your best friend, hoping that one day the fog would clear and she’d suddenly declare that her two year relationship with a rugby-playing, walking sack of testosterone was merely an elaborate cover to hide her undying, all-encompassing love for you.  Naturally.  If this sounds at all familiar, then there’s little doubt that you’ve sucked at being a lesbian at some point in your life.  And if it doesn’t, then please accept a big, shiny gold star for display on a wall/blazer/mouse-mat of your choosing on us. … Continue Reading