Chatville. Just a feeling that it’ll be big… slash dangerous when drunk.

by Lemon Tart

Just a quick one…

Sometimes your hear about new online/iPhone/general geek stuff (ok I happen to have a tech-journo friend. Ok who happens to be Petit Fours. Yep my conversation nets don’t spread very wide) – ANYWAY… on occasion little morsels of random news get planted in my ear and I immediately get the craves to MostCake tweet them…

However, I thought this deserved more of a mini blog post-lette.

Facebook (a k a the new gaydar) has a dangerous little new little app called Chatville. A little like Chatroulette, Chatville allows you to chat to strangers via video on facebook, or to your own chums – at random. You can read more about it here and Petit Fours wrote about it here (which I only just realised AFTER writing this and doing a little google for an appropriate Chatville pic. I then found this image of her using it. HA!)

Why dangerous? – Let me guide you through a little health and safety guide, Gareth-from-The-Office-style.

1. So you’re drunk. It’s 3 am. Rather than going straight from your door to your bed, possibly via a toothbrush, Facebook suddenly seems appealing. Like “the lesbian corner” in Joiners, but online. Nothing like a bit of late-night social networking. By that I mean profile-perving, obviously.

Avoidance step: turn your computer off before you go out. The effort of pressing the on button while inebriated should hopefully halt proceedings here.

2. Oh, and look. You’ve installed a great new Facebook app called Chatville. All week, you’ve been having delightful chats with your chums. The joys of the internet revolution.

But what’s this? A button that allows you to randomly chat with strangers!

Avoidance step: Give yourself a long facebook password that’s laborious to type in. Like 50 letters or something. Drunk hands syndrome should hinder progression.

3. You get chatting to a lovely girl called Stacey, from Los Angeles. She likes cats, you like cats. She agrees being a vegan is the only way forward for women-kind – and OH you concur. What are the chances.

Next thing you know you’ve flashed your tits, you’re on a 5 am plane to Los Angeles, and you’ve given £5000 to a “cat shelter” in Los Angeles which happens to closely match Stacey’s own bank details.

Ok. Potentially this is unlikely to happen. However, the following is likely: facebook chat is just words. Facebook video between two facebook acquaintances (maybe Frida from Brownies who you haven’t seen for 10 years) – danger zone. And you can then POST THESE VIDEO CONVERSATIONS ONTO YOUR FACEBOOK WALL…

Either way, you will a) end up with regular monthly payments going into Stacey’s bank account. Or b) there will be flesh-flashing video conversations on your profile with Frida when you wake up the next day.

Don’t ever say TMC doesn’t care for your general well-being. See also: our advice on sex during the curse (best name for that monthly event bar none) and dental dams.