Things Lesbians Like #3: The Chart
Everyone’s done it at some point. You’re sitting around with your friends, you’re all a little tipsy, someone gets out a big marker, and all of a sudden you’ve gotten right down to it: who’s slept with who? Who’s kissed who? How many conquests do you have in common? It can be frivolous and fun, or it can be utterly dramatic and dissolve in tears. The Chart – linking lesbians everywhere.
My first chart was drawn at a friend’s Christmas party. We’d already gone through copious amounts of food and alcohol, various bits of conversation and truth or dare (which was interesting) and then somehow The Chart came up. One thing led to another, and then one name led to another, and suddenly we all knew each other a little bit better. I mean, honestly, it’s pretty incredible isn’t it? The lesbian world is smaller than we may think, especially when it turns out you’ve kissed your best friend’s girlfriend.
While that particular experience was, in the spirit of Christmas, merry, it’s not always fun and games. Imagine doing it all for fun, laughing as more names are added to the list, and then suddenly noticing that your girlfriend’s name looks like a massive spider-web, and she’s got the equivalent of the yellow pages on her list. It’s enough to send you running for the vodka, if not for the nearest STI clinic.
Also – consider the situation where names are added on the basis of mere gossip. It may be funny when it happens to someone else, but if you’ve got a link between your name and some heroin-addict who likes to dress up as a pirate on a day-to-day basis, you may not be so happy.
Mind though, despite its drawbacks, I still think The Chart is kind of awesome. On the back of a napkin or on a scrap of A4 – my own Chart was a massive tangle of names and lines on a big piece of poster paper (a living piece of history, that – I wonder where it is now?).
Have you ever drawn up a Chart? What do you think of them?
can i see the chart? pls?
“if you’ve got a link between your name and some heroin-addict who likes to dress up as a pirate on a day-to-day basis you may not be so happy”
- right now, i’d be alright with that. though more with pirate bit, less with the heroin bit.
I think a friend of mine has it… you should see it though, it’s marvellous. And incredibly incestuous. and a real reminder of when I was not a very good person.
Kirsten Dunst is on my chart. Five links from me. Smug!
Rightly smug. How cool is that? I don’t have anyone (really) famous on my chart.
I think I’m two links from Kate Moss. But who isn’t, right?
1 link away from Paris Hilton. Shame.
Seriously? That’s so cool. I must find some way to trace those links. This must be documented!
I’ve never tried that, but my memory is so bad and my life has been so long, it would probably be difficult to be accurate. Anyway, I am miles away from the A-Listers, hate to admit.