TMC HELP: I’ve never been to a gay bar by myself and I don’t know how
Usually it’s me waxing lyrical about whatever, while you guys play audience to my ramblings. But this time, you guys, I’m a little out of my depth. Deep breath now – I’m 25 years old and I’ve never been to a gay bar by myself.
…Or any bar for that matter. Ever. How did this happen? When I was in high school, nobody went to bars by themselves anyway – being largely underage, my friends and I went in big groups to avoid suspicion (I’m sure seven nervous 17-year-olds look way less suspicious than one please-don’t-card-me loner).
At university, I managed to pick up companions at the international student orientation and general introduction to my course. I moved into halls late (and thus missed out on what was apparently an amazingly debaucherous introduction to Camberwell) but it mattered not, because I’m Indian and we are everywhere (seriously, try being brown, you are never alone) (except on Lip Service).
When I came out, I was already friends with enough other gay people that gay bars were neither unfamiliar terrain nor places I ever went to, or had to go to, alone.
So now, at 25, new and on shaky ground in an unfamiliar city, I’m a little at a loss as to how to meet other gay people. Technically, homosexuality is still illegal here, but fortunately, that hasn’t stopped a rather large gay scene from popping up. So there are places, great, gay places, but I – and I’m not sure anyone who knows me will believe me – am lost, nervous, shy and not a little scared. A bar! By myself! What do I do! How do I deal with this!
So instead of womanning up and figuring my shit out on my own, I’m asking you guys for help. Answers on a postcard? Or in the comments? Plus there’s a poll.
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