Tuesday Top Ten… ways to celebrate spring.

by Lemon Tart and Devil’s Food Cake

Blooming flowers, bare arms and open shoes instead of boots – a sign of madness? No no, that’s spring you smell in the air, dear readers, and the stench is getting stronger. Here at TMC headquarters, we celebrate the advent of primavera and all it brings with it as creatively as possible. How you ask? Follow this to do list.

1. Streak. There’s no better time to do it now that your nipples won’t freeze clear off your chest.

2. Eat cake. Lots of cake. As messily as possible – a la Hustler. See below:

3. Make (and drink) margaritas. Lots of margaritas! Margaritas make spring and summer worth living – so get creative.

This video, featuring a woman who is surely a robot, should help:

4. Wear a tank top. Ladies – do this for us. All of you in tank tops make our days so, so worth it.

5. Alternatively, wear your hair as clothing.

6. Not out at work? Here’s a creative way of telling everyone. Grab some suncream, write GAY AND PROUD INNIT (or whatever) with it on your forehead, lie on a roof for a couple of hours and wait for the work of art to appear.

7. Go to a British beach. (But actually don’t forget your coat. And boots. And scarf. Even in July. Ok scrap that.)

8. It’s spring. So you’d better make like the birds, bees and walruses or whatever and get a chick if you ain’t got one. How? We would recommend wearing a placard saying “Sex Please” at all times. Simple and effective.

9. Spring clean. Oh who actually does this? Empty your computer’s trash can: et voila, catharsis with a click.

10. Get depressed. Hay fever, heat waves, hot tube journeys and water shortages are just around the corner. Bring back winter now please.

How are you celebrating spring?